You’ve got 17 cars. Which one gets you to games on Saturdays?

I’ve had a driver for five years, so at the moment it’s the black long wheelbase Mercedes 600 AMG. I hate traffic, so if we’re playing at somewhere like Leicester, I’ll get the train and get him to meet me at the station.

First class?

Yes. Why?

Do you know any other chairmen who get the train to games?

I’m not familiar with the travelling habits of chairmen.

Do you get any stick from fans on trains?

No one bothers me, but there was a bit of trouble at Charlton on Wednesday night. I’m not very popular down there, but their security was very good.

You never sit down at Selhurst Park. Uncomfortable seats?

I just prefer standing at the back because I’m very demonstrative and I don’t want people staring at me. If you sit in the front row it’s like being a Roman emperor — everyone’s watching to see if you are going to give your team a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

A football club.

What’s the worst job you’ve had?

I was a waiter in New York about 20 years ago. I didn’t last long. I’m not cut out for taking orders.

What keeps you awake at night?

I don’t know. Gin and tonic? I’m not a big worrier. There’s a lot to worry about in the world, but I don’t like to dwell on the past.

What song would you like played at your funeral?

What a macabre question. How about The Harder They Come by Jimmy Cliff or Crazy by Seal.

Finally, you’re open to offers for Palace. Would you still go to games if you sold the club?

No, that would be it for me. I’ve done my time. I’ve only missed one game this season, but I’m not interested in football any more.

Interview by Kaveh Solhekol

There has never been a better time to buy a football club — if you have the money. At least six Premier League sides are believed to be on the market, but Simon Jordan estimates that his love affair with Crystal Palace has cost him £40 million since he bought them out of administration in 2000.