Right here, right now, we need to set out a few ground rules. This is my list. Not yours, not Newcastle United’s, not an attempt to be definitive. I suppose I’d quite like you to read it - although I’m not entirely sure; I’m feeling quite protective - but this is mine, warts (or Kenny Wharton), and all. It is an attempt to cover the history of the club, to put their triumphs and disasters into some sort of perspective - and that isn’t always easy when you’re sifting through so many players who are familiar only through books, old football albums or the recollections of older friends and family members - but this can only be a personal endeavour and one that reflects my own generation and experiences. It’s amazing to think that given the vivid torture that went before it, there are younger supporters who will only know Newcastle as a top-flight club (for now, anyway). Maybe I would throw my hands up in horror at the players they would nominate as the best, or as their favourites. Kieron Dyer?! I hope I would respect it (although, deep down, I doubt it; that’s what this is all about). I’ve omitted many important players and a multitude of big characters, the order is all wrong and I’ve certainly made errors, for which I apologise.

50 David Ginola

1995-97, 76 total appearances, 7 goals

I can already guess what you’re thinking, because I’ve had this argument countless times, in drink and when sober: David Ginola, w*****. The idiot that chose him, w***** (one out of two isn’t bad). But hold back. Deep breath. Hear me out. Ginola was of his time and that was a time when Newcastle briefly felt like Hollywood-upon-Tyne. For a few fleeting months, he was colossal, engaging, beautiful, unmissable, a whiff of Pernod and Gauloises amid the Brown Ale and 20 Regal. He would beat his man on the left, cross the ball, then search out the television camera, nod his head in self-appreciation and wink, seducing it. I have never, ever, in more than 30 years of watching live football, seen one player utterly and completely bamboozle another one in the manner in which Ginola once destroyed Middlesbrough's Neil Cox (hey - you can only play the opposition you’re up against). He soured things by spitting out his dummy. He didn’t track back and defend. Granted, it was too short and too flakey, but for a few special, glittering moments, it was also bloody marvellous (and in these times of financial and footballing austerity, couldn’t we all do with some of that?). Is this verging on the homoerotic? Yes. Particularly when talking about a player called Cox? Yes. Do I now wish to change the subject? Mais oui.

Here is a fuzzy Daveeeed, with added Motty.

49. Francisco Jimenez Tejada (you'll probably know him better, if at all, as Xisco)

2008-present

Ooh, a bit of politics. Define greatness. Is it a) pertaining to a general standard of excellence, or b) magnitude? For one - and only one - of these 50 names, we'll take the latter, if only to remind ourselves that Newcastle have been teetering on a precipice. At the time of writing, relegation looks more a possibility than a probability, but what would it mean for the ownership, management, playing staff, fabric and future of the football club?

If it happens (and even if it doesn't, there must still be a reckoning at the end of a desperate, shoddy season), there will be many people deserving of blame, from the Shepherd and Hall families (debt), Mike Ashley (take your pick of the bad decisions), to those who, over the years, have sanctioned some dismal transfers, incoming and outgoing. Xisco cost £5.7m. His arrival last autumn prompted the departure of Kevin Keegan, who did not know of him and did not want him. Newcastle were thrust into a maelstrom and they are still spinning. Xisco, a striker, has started three league games. It is hardly his fault, but there may never have been a bigger, worse signing in the club's history. Here ends the party political broadcast on behalf of the Newcastle United Supporters Club. Now back to the fun stuff ...

48 John Anderson

1982-1992, 337 league appearances, 14 goals

John Anderson’s stare is officially the fourth most frightening thing on this planet, after sharks, Kerry Katona and John Anderson’s handshake. "Ando" joined Newcastle on a free transfer in 1982 and would go on to make well in excess of 300 appearances for the Magpies. The Dubliner played all but one match during the "Keegan" promotion season of 1983-84, but also bore witness to the troubled spell that followed relegation in 1989. The point is this: particularly in the North East, greatness cannot simply be gauged by glory. Whether in good times or bad, his commitment never wavered. Neither did his ferocity, honesty or consistency. Every club, every team, every decade, needs a John Anderson; Newcastle need several right now.

46 Philippe Albert (1994-99, 96 league appearances, 8 goals) and Steve Howey (1989-2000, 191 league appearances, 6 goals)