DISMISSALS CAN BE SWIFT AND BRUTAL or slow and agonising. When under-pressure managers reiterate time and again that they are not going to resign and suddenly the chairman goes quiet, even though results are still poor, it is often the case that the two have talked and failed to come to an agreement about how the manager should leave.

Which usually means that they are unable to strike a compensation deal. Paying off Graeme Souness would probably be expensive and it is hard to imagine that Newcastle United have much in the coffers after his £50 million spending spree. There are cheaper methods.

I have seen cases where chairmen decide to send in the infantry for an assault that they hope will oust the enemy within through sheer force of numbers. I am talking about the fans. Demonstrations, radio phone-ins, boycotts, boos. Coupled with a board that has no intention of manning the barricades, they can make a manager’s position untenable. As Souness’s position surely is, which he must admit in private if not in public, where he remains defiant.

The Scot’s excuse of choice is Newcastle’s injury list. He is right, of course, there are a lot of key players missing. But what are managers paid for? To overachieve, to coax performances and secure results above expectations.

I sat at Craven Cottage on Saturday watching an abject Newcastle display and thought that even the number of absent players was not an adequate reason to explain the standard of football played by those who were fit to pull on the shirt. Even below-par teams, if they are well coached, can mesh into a unit, can be organised and can execute tactics. Newcastle resembled a bunch of lads just slung on the pitch any old how. It was hard not to conclude that even if Newcastle had a full- strength team, victories would owe more to the natural ability of their stars than to the way they were instructed.

Start with the line-up, which smacked of a manager living a game-by-game existence, thinking: “If I don’t lose, I get to do this again next week.” Alan Shearer up front on his own, with Albert Luque and Nolberto Solano tucking in behind. Outcome: no threat. At his age (35), Shearer cannot endlessly run into the channels any more.

Luque cost £9.5 million but is nowhere near as good as James Milner, who was sent to Aston Villa on loan. Jean-Alain Boumsong is £8 million of gladiator. Tough-looking enough to be a bouncer, he may be more suited to stopping people entering discos than to preventing players sauntering past him on the pitch. He’s so dodgy even I dominated him, aged 34, when he was a teenager with Le Havre and I was at Nancy.

There were lots of chants of “Souness out” — but all from mocking Fulham supporters. The away fans were unsure how to react, not wanting to seem disloyal but not prepared to sing in support of their manager. So they responded by chanting the name of the team. Perhaps they will heap scorn on Souness if Newcastle are as bad at the next home match.

I have no personal gripe with Souness, but sadly there were no positives to take. There will not be a turnaround, just more mediocrity, and that’s down to bad buys and inadequate coaching, not because Newcastle are an impossible club. There is no light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.