I have travelled with England, stayed at home with England and sneered at England. I am one of the bullies that Fabio Capello is worried about, prone to carping and hurling insults. And I don't even care that much. Goodness knows how it feels to be English, to love football and be patriotic.

I am not alone, though. It is quite a few years since I had a positive conversation about the England team. Even people who can't remember who won the FA Cup Final in May know that England had a problem. The first word that usually comes to mind when I am asked about my relationship with the national team is embarrassment.

You can never stop watching, though. Just in case England finally click and ... Ah, and what? What do we bullies want?

Some just want victory, whether it be narrow, ugly or lucky. But more of us want swagger, style and guts. It is supposed to be fantasy football, after all. The most fêted, highly prized and adored are heaped together in the same team.

Expert View

I will retain the hope that Walcott will become a wonderful player, who will ignite England at the World Cup in South Africa

Simon Barnes

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BACKGROUND

• Walcott does the trick for England

• Walcott ready for life in spotlight

• Capello rewarded for throwing caution to wind

• How the England players rated in Zagreb

Multimedia

• How England's incredible win unfolded

The team are not your private joke with a silly name. This is England. They represent you and you represent them. They are the best of what England has to offer and you will be judged by them. That is why we scrutinise the detail. We don't want to be embarrassed.

So when it goes wrong, we shout at them. And because the bullied tend to tremble or underperform, we feel vindicated. You suspected that Frank Lampard did not try his best for his country, you jeered him, he gulped and there is the proof. It is a nasty and vicious circle. Capello knows it and, rather amazingly, said it.

Last night I sat in front of Setanta and folded my arms. Go on then, prove me wrong. Make me proud. I'll take the swagger and guts if you cannot find the style.

Capello's team looked bullied and inhibited as they listened to the national anthem, whereas the Croatia players looked chock-full of fervour and initially possessed more in the swagger department. We bullies don't like it when players disappear (do we, Gareth Barry?) and we don't like flaky defending.

But we frustrated fans do like it when you feel sorry to see a stretcher arrive for an England player. Yes, that's right; football bullies, I'm ashamed to say, often relish the drama of an injury.

However, Theo Walcott, young and untainted by booing, had earned the right to cause the bullies' bottom lips to tremble when it seemed he might be concussed.

Most of all, the boo-boys yearn for a hero. Walcott's performance was probably proof that the jeers do not work. The Arsenal star was not sparkling despite the atmosphere of negativity. He was free from it all to start with. Oh, and don't worry that the bullies may suffer withdrawal symptoms; we had a laugh at Slaven Bilic's expense instead.