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Whatever Manchester United, Arsenal or Chelsea achieve this season, no one is going to break as many records as Derby County. The worst team to play in the Barclays Premier League? Definitely. And that’s according to their manager.
“We’re a million miles away from being a Premier League team,” Paul Jewell said. “That is the worst performance I’ve ever seen from a so-called Premier League team.”
Jewell has a point. Derby have nine from 27 games and have won only once in the league this season – against Newcastle United two months before Jewell arrived at Pride Park in November. Carry on like this and they will be relegated before Easter. One win, 20 defeats, 72 points dropped, 57 goals conceded. Derby are so bad it hurts. “Do you think I coach my players to kick the ball out when we get a free kick?” Jewell said. “I’m sick of walking on egg shells. We’re becoming a laughing stock. We were disgraceful. We were embarrassing.”
Derby might have hung on for a draw if Roy Carroll could kick the ball without slicing it out of play, if Robbie Savage could be bothered to break into a sweat or if Giles Barnes was as good as he thinks he is.
As it was, they rode their luck for an hour before Paul Scharner and Luis Antonio Valencia scored from close range. Things are so bad that Craig Fagan, a winger with an empty box of tricks, was their best player.
Two years ago Sunderland became the worst team in Premier League history with 15 points from 38 games. Derby are on course to shatter that record with something to spare. “It must be very frustrating,” Steve Bruce, the Wigan Athletic manager, said. “If you don’t have the tools you can’t survive.” He said tools. He meant players.
Wigan Athletic (4-4-2): C Kirkland 6 – M Melchiot 6, E Boyce 6, P Scharner 7, E Edman 7 (sub: J Koumas, 90min) – L A Valencia 7, M Brown 6, W Palacios 7, K Kilbane 7 – M King 6 (sub: A Sibierski, 84), E Heskey 6 (sub: M Bent, 89). Substitutes not used: M Pollitt, T Bramble.
Next: Manchester City (a).
Derby County (4-5-1): R Carroll 3 – D Leacock 4 (sub: A Todd, 46 4), D Moore 3, A Stubbs 3, J McEveley 3 – C Fagan 5, G Barnes 3, R Savage 3, H Ghaly 3 (sub: M Sterjovski, 60 4), S Pearson 3 (sub: E Villa, 57 4) – K Miller 4. Substitutes not used: L Price, E Lewis.
Next: Sunderland (h).
Referee A Wiley
Attendance 20,176
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"Steve Bruce, the Wigan Athletic manager, said. âIf you donât have the tools you canât survive.â He said tools. He meant players."
No, I really think he had it right first time.
Even Paul Jewell thinks it too.
Phil J Noonan, Liverpool,
Very droll. Excellent piece.
Steve, London,