Avram Grant described Ashley Cole as a model of contrition yesterday and suggested that it is Arsenal, not their former defender, who lack respect for failing to apologise for the tackle that put John Terry in hospital when Chelsea lost to their rivals in December.

The sides meet again tomorrow at Stamford Bridge and with Liverpool also facing Manchester United it promises to be a significant day at the top of the Barclays Premier League. Terry has recovered, but other wounds are clearly not healed after the fractious derby encounter in which Emmanuel Eboué was only booked for a challenge that broke three bones in the Chelsea captain's foot.

Grant, the Chelsea first-team coach, contrasted Arsenal's public silence with Cole's statement of regret on Thursday for his conduct during the 4-4 draw with Tottenham Hotspur the previous night, in which he launched into a reckless challenge on Alan Hutton and then turned his back on Mike Riley, the referee. “Someone sent our captain to hospital for a few days and then he didn't play for a few weeks. I don't want to mention names, but they didn't apologise,” Grant said. “I will give credit to Ashley. He is a mature guy. He apologised himself and no one forced him to.”

Arsène Wenger, the Arsenal manager, defended Eboué, who is believed to have said sorry to Terry in private. “It was not a terrible tackle. I regret it [the injury], but it was an accident,” Wenger said.

Chelsea have twice been charged by the Football Association with failing to control their players this season and Riley was harangued at White Hart Lane, but Grant accused the governing body of victimising his team and claimed that Manchester United are at least as guilty of showing dissent to officials.

“I think this is unfair from the FA,” he said, pointing to the tempestuous fixture between the sides at Old Trafford in September. “Against Manchester United their players ran to the referee before us. Maybe they are quicker, I don't know.”

However, Sir Alex Ferguson, the United manager, said yesterday that harassing referees is “absolutely ridiculous” and that his side had worked hard in recent years to show greater respect.

Ferguson's team are three points clear of Arsenal, who have a two-point advantage over Chelsea. “I don't think it's a big enough lead to think we can't throw it away,” Ferguson said. “We're not taking anything for granted.”

The game at Old Trafford pits the league's leading goalscorers, Cristiano Ronaldo and Fernando Torres, against each other. “It is not about stopping Ronaldo,” Rafael Benítez, the Liverpool manager, said. “They must think, no doubt, about stopping Torres.”