Match report: Everton 1 Liverpool 0 | Gosling cooks Liverpool's goose | Alyson Rudd is an angry viewer | Another bad advert for ITV's coverage | Frustrated with ITV? Tell them what you think here | Grade grovels over ITV goal blunder

The ad breaks have long been a problem for viewers of sport on ITV. Little did we realise that sport has long been the problem for the ad breaks. Extra time does not, in the land of commercials, equate to high drama. It spells more time of cameras following the ball. Add in that The News at Ten is not one of those programmes that can be screened at a later date and the space for ads was, last night, becoming increasingly squeezed.

As fans were peering through their fingers, a finger in a studio twitched over the “ad break” button. That finger needed to wait a few more minutes but that could mean penalties and less time for ads. The finger, possibly involuntarily, hit the button.

The clock said 118 minutes. I switched the TV to digital radio in time to hear Alan Green scream that it was Everton 1 Liverpool 0. As I jabbed at my remote to see if ITV could provide me with proof of this, I was already conjuring up conspiracy theories. The goal had been created from bits of coverage stuck together from previous matches. My favourite conspiracy is now that if a live game does not show a live goal, the result is invalidated.

Steve Rider, the match host, apologised in various voices; amused, distraught, embarrassed (although being Steve Rider, it was hard to tell the difference) but the fact remains that goal will not count. I was watching but it did not happen and I do not watch football to solve riddles.

Sock it to ‘em

“Sock robbers, sock robbers, sock robbers,” the Liverpool fans sang at Goodison Park last night, bombarding the Bullens Road touchline with rolled-up balls of footwear. This was to taunt Evertonians about their proposed move to a stadium in Kirkby, which is outside Liverpool city limits. Scouse urban myth has it that, in the dark days of the 1960s and 1970s, not even odd socks were safe on a Kirkby washing line from local thieves. The legend has been taken up with a vengeance by the red side of the city.