AS tonics go, hearing that his team had picked up three points for the first time in eight matches can only have done Joe Kinnear good. Having complained of feeling unwell beforehand, the 62-year-old Newcastle manager was taken to hospital for precautionary tests, and so missed the Magpies winning only their second match on the road this season.

In fact, it was surely as well he was elsewhere. Newcastle did not win because they outplayed West Brom, they won because they were slightly less incompetent. The excitement of seeing goals fly in had a spurious quality, especially during a first half which plumbed truly remarkable depths of ineptitude.

The game could hardly have started more explosively. Or ridiculously, depending whether you believe Premier League footballers earning more in a week than most of us do in a year should be able to defend semi-competently. The clock had barely passed the minute mark when Newcastle took the lead; Shola Ameobi’s through ball should have been easily cut out by Leon Barnett, but somehow the Albion centre-back managed to get his feet in such a panicky tangle that the ball ran clear for Damien Duff to run on and beat Scott Carson with ease.

Shown the way, Newcastle reacted generously. In the fourth minute, Jose Enrique dallied over a simple clearance and Nicky Butt, under unnecessary pressure, gave Borja Valero an unexpected opportunity to try and pick out Marc-Antoine Fortune. The pass lacked accuracy, but was made effective by Steven Taylor getting his studs caught in the turf and falling on his backside. Fortune drove his left-footed shot across Steve Harper and into the far corner.

The sight of Enrique and Sebastien Bassong berating each other soon afterwards did not bode well for the disbelieving Toon Army, but they were celebrating again moments later. Duff’s cross from the left was cleared only as far as Ryan Taylor. The former Wigan midfielder, making his debut for Newcastle, crossed where both Barnett and, most culpably, Abdoulaye Meite, should have cleared, but neither had the presence of mind or control, and Peter Lovenkrands hammered the loose ball past Carson. The litany of disasters continued.

Meite, unable to handle Ameobi, inexplicably ducked out of a headed clearance, and got a tongue-lashing from his captain Paul Robinson. Harper came out for a ball he was never going to reach, and only Fabricio Coloccini’s block from a James Morrison shot prevented Albion equalising. At the other end, Carson, advancing uncertainly, was fortunate in the extreme to see a hopeful ball forward rebound off his shins.

Another goal was surely coming, and two minutes before half-time, it duly arrived. Ryan Taylor swung in a corner from the left , and Meite, whose presence on the field was becoming a liability for his team, lost Steven Taylor so completely that the Newcastle full-back did not have to jump to head past the exposed Carson.

Heaven knows what Albion manager Tony Mowbray and Newcastle coach Chris Hughton said at half-time. Mowbray had to make changes, and he sent on Roman Bednar and Felipe Teixeira, allowing Morrison, who had been playing up front in the absence of the injured Jay Simpson, to revert back to his customary role on the left of midfield. Obviously more comfortable, Morrison began to make an impact, first with a snap shot that curled close to Harper’s left-hand post, then bursting into the penalty area only to scuff his shot into Harper’s body.

Again however, it was only a matter of time before someone dropped a clanger. Bassong duly obliged, allowing Fortune to turn past him and on to Koren’s pass with ridiculous ease and shoot past Carson, this time with his right foot.

Now it really was nail-biting time for the visitors. Lovenkrands, who considering he cost nothing looks to be a seriously useful acquisition, did his best to ease the tension, but Carson saved to his left; otherwise it was all Albion, but the shots were all from distance — or as Mowbray put it afterwards, into their own feet.

“Newcastle didn’t come and do anything special today, but they didn’t have to. You can’t defend like we did, and expect to win matches in the Premier league,” he said.

“The supporters were right to be disappointed. There was a lot of expectation that we would win, and pull ourselves out of the bottom three, but it was Keystone Cops defending. You target this game, and today was a missed chance.”

Star man: Marc-Antoine Fortune (West Brom)

Yellow cards: West Brom: Barnett, Koren Newcastle: Nolan, R Taylor

Referee: C Foy

Attendance: 25,817

WEST BROM: Carson, Hoefkens 5, Barnett 4, Meite 3, Robinson 5, Koren 5, Kim 4 (Teixeira 46min, 6), Valero 5 (Moore 85min), Brunt 5 (Bednar 46, 5min), Morrison 5, Fortune 7

NEWCASTLE: Harper 5, S Taylor 5, Coloccini 7, Bassong 6, Enrique 4, R Taylor 5, Butt 5, Nolan 5, Duff 6, Lovenkrands 7 (Xisco 90min), Ameobi 7 (Viduka 81min)

Kinnear taken to hospital

Joe Kinnear, the Newcastle manager, was taken to hospital yesterday morning after after falling ill while preparing for the match at The Hawthorns. Kinnear, 62, suffered a minor heart attack in March 1999 during his time as Wimbledon manager and later stood down from his post because of ill-health. Assistant manager Chris Hughton, who was in charge of the side yesterday, said: ‘Joe is okay. The club will issue a statement regarding his condition later. The players are very fond of Joe and appreciate what he’s done. They were aware of what happened, and it was very much in their minds.’ Kinnear, who has had spells in charge at Luton and Nottingham Forest, was appointed as interim manager in September before being given the job until the end of the season. It has proved an eventful time, with three FA charges the least of his problems