So, just to recap: the club who are hoping to lift the European Cup twice in six years while playing football from the heavens have no fitness coach and no goalkeeping coach, the new manager has never managed in the Premier League, the significant stages of the Champions League or beyond Israel, has no contract and is taking today off anyway because it is Yom Kippur. Don’t worry, though: it is only Manchester United away tomorrow.

It is unclear who is calling the shots at Stamford Bridge, but descendants of Fred Karno cannot be ruled out. At a press conference that was by turns chaotic and confrontational, in which Peter Kenyon, the chief executive, had to defend his continued employment - “interesting question,” he said, which is not much of a rebuttal – the new manager endured an uncomfortable examination of his track record and the logic of his appointment, and the man responsible for the whole sorry mess was nowhere to be seen, Chelsea entered the next stage of its evolution. It was painful to watch. Blinking and flinching as their decision-makers sought to justify one of the most bizarre episodes in recent football history, Chelsea looked as far from their aim of global domination as the Tooting Popular Front did from a parliamentary majority under Wolfie Smith.

The more Bruce Buck, the chairman, sought to justify the choice of Avram Grant, the less convincing he sounded. He started brightly enough. “If the thrust of your question is that ‘was Avram appointed because he is a friend of Roman Abramovich’, the answer is no,” Buck said. “Roman does not take important appointments on a whim or because someone is a friend. He is a very successful businessman and, in consultation with the board, this was a thoughtful decision that was made on the basis of merit.” Reminded that the merit involved no worthwhile European experience and no management pedigree behind a league of minor importance, Buck began to blather. “Merit is evaluating a person’s inner strength, it is evaluating a person’s people-dealing qualities, evaluating a person’s football knowledge and track record is certainly one of the things you have to consider,” he floundered. When a man who announces his position as a corporate lawyer starts using clumsy phrases such as “people-dealing qualities”, he is not usually on the surest ground.

At least Buck fared better than Kenyon. Having appointed José Mourinho with a brief to identify the best manager in Europe, to then be sitting beside a man whose CV stretches to two good spells with Maccabi Haifa and another with Maccabi Tel Aviv must have represented one of the most uncomfortable turns of his professional life. Full of bravado when he walked in, by the time he left the room he was protesting that there was nothing to be embarrassed about in the events of the past week, and taking a ten-minute walk in the fresh air to gather his thoughts. His awkwardness was palpable. “The club has changed,” he protested, when asked why the criteria for Grant’s appointment differed so greatly from that of Mourinho.

“It is a different club now, on a different level, results in the future will show that we made the right decision.” Quite how much Kenyon had to do with this process is unknown, but he did not display the demeanour of a man who was sure of his script. “I don’t think it is a risk,” he countered. “The structure of the club is better now, so the requirement is not the same. It might not be a popular decision at the moment, but if we win on Sunday it will be popular. If we win more in the next five years than in the last three, it will be popular.”

Very reasonably, Grant pointed out that all managers have to start from somewhere, that Fabio Capello was once an unknown youth-team coach, and Arsène Wenger endured taunts of “Arsène Who?” when he arrived at Arsenal. He is right, Wenger might not have been known in England when he pitched up at Highbury, but he had been a champion manager in France and had taken Monaco to the last four of the European Cup. Wenger also had the advantage of succeeding Bruce Rioch who was not regarded highly by Arsenal’s players. Grant will find most of his key men still fiercely loyal to Mourinho, and suspicious of a man who is seen, rightly or wrongly, as instrumental in his downfall. Wenger also inherited a united dressing-room; it can hardly be said that Chelsea are now without divisions.

Finally, Arsenal’s directors had the wit to identify Wenger as a force for good immediately and let him run team affairs without interference. It is unlikely that Abramovich has appointed a friend, and one that must be extraordinarily grateful for being given the biggest job of his life, so that he can return to being a silent partner.

“I will make the decisions on the team,” Grant insisted. “It is not Roman Abramovich who will pick the team and if he wanted to, I would say no.” Buck chimed in that Grant wanted an assurance that he was in charge and it was agreed at board level, but the necessity of that discussion suggests a culture at Chelsea that is unhealthy. Certainly, members of the playing squad are to be persuaded of Grant’s autonomy, and while Kenyon insisted that the dressing-room is now united behind the new manager, nobody was satisfied this will be anything other than a long process of conversion.

“There was a team meeting and the players were in full support of the decision,” Kenyon said. Do you mean they wanted José Mourinho out and Avram Grant in, said a questioner, incredulously. “Oh, come on,” Kenyon squirmed. “That wasn’t what I said.” But it was what he said; it just wasn’t what he meant. And that is the problem with the twisting and dissembling that Chelsea have done these past few days. Nobody knows what to believe anymore; even the men who supposedly call the shots.

A few farewells . . . not all of them fond

José leaving Chelsea is a disappointment for the game. He was terrific for football and terrific for Chelsea and I enjoyed the competition with him. And I just don’t know what I’m going to do with all my wine now. Sir Alex Ferguson Manchester United

He was a top-class manager, a guy of quality and belief. Him coming to Chelsea brought another club fighting for the top level. It makes a good league really interesting. Arsène Wenger Arsenal

I was surprised, but you know my relationship with him. I would prefer not to say anything. At the moment, I am more worried about Birmingham and Steve Bruce. Rafael BenÍtez Liverpool

Quickfire chairmen

Jesús Gil Worked his way through 24 managers in his 16 years as Atlético Madrid chairman, some of whom lasted only a few weeks.

Vladimir Romanov The Heart of Midlothian owner dismissed George Burley with Hearts unbeaten and top of the table in late October 2005, and proceeded to pick the team instead of Graham Rix, Burley’s replacement.

Peter Swales Dismissed 11 managers as Manchester City chairman, including Peter Reid, whose dismissal in 1993 after securing three successive top-nine finishes, was followed by the team’s decline.

Words by Bill Edgar