TWO DAYS before a London derby that will be described as a battle, an intense conflict between clubs whose relationship drips with enmity, perhaps now is a poignant time for José Mourinho to declare that medals and money are all very well, but all he really needs is love.

“For me the most important thing in my life. . .is love,” the Chelsea manager said. “I think you have to be in love with your family, with your job, with the people who work for you.

“If you are not in love with your wife you have to divorce. If you are not in love with your kids you are not a human being so you have to kill yourself, if you are not in love with your job you must change your job.”

Mourinho says that he has much in common with his wife, Tami. “We have the same concepts, that’s why we are married,” he said. “I think she is also a leader, as I am, I think she’s also a motivator — the same way I can motivate my people, she motivates me.”

A text message from his children, Matilde and José Jr, after the defeat by Liverpool in the European Cup semi-finals last season means more to him than photographs and memorabilia. “It’s something that you don’t forget . . . After the defeat in Liverpool you get an SMS (saying) ‘we love you more when you lose’. So what matters, Uefa Cup, Champions League? My kids are educated in a loving atmosphere and that’s what matters for us. Cups is work and life is more important than that.”

Mourinho revealed the sensitive side hidden behind the grey overcoat in a Sky One documentary, Being José Mourinho. He says that his public and private persona differ considerably: “I think I’m a good person. Sometimes the image I give in football is not the real image. One thing is José Mourinho the man, another is José Mourinho the manager.”

The latter Mourinho was preternaturally calm when John Terry equalised for Chelsea in the 2-2 draw with Arsenal, their opponents on Sunday, at Highbury last December.

His stoicism, he reveals, was a by-product of his predictive powers: “That goal was the natural consequence of the game. It’s the type of game where you just sit and you wait and you wait and you know the goal is going to arrive,” he said.

The Portuguese also says that he was so confident in his preparations that he asked Eidur Gudjohnsen, the midfield player, to give the pre-match team talk on the day Chelsea won the Barclays Premiership title away to Bolton Wanderers last April.

Arsène Wenger, the Arsenal manager, and Sir Alex Ferguson, his Manchester United counterpart, are also interviewed in the programme. Wenger underlines Chelsea’s greater resources, but Ferguson, who is friendly with Mourinho, surprisingly endorses the Roman Abramovich regime: “I think you’re entitled to do the best for your club and I have absolutely no grouse about Chelsea’s intent to do well,” he said.

Despite often seeming to employ them, Mourinho is not entirely convinced that mind games work. “We are speaking about good managers, top people, I don’t think we can change the way they think . . . I cannot say 100 per cent, I cannot say (mind games affect them). I would say: it makes them think.”

Ricardo Carvalho’s outburst at Mourinho’s decision not to select him for the opening match of the season has given the manager plenty to chew over. He responded bullishly yesterday.

“Ricardo Carvalho seems to have problems understanding things, maybe he should have an IQ test,” Mourinho said. “I am not happy to have heard about this through the papers. Ricardo has worked with me for four years and I do not understand these quotes. He probably needs to see a doctor.”

Jorge Mendes, the agent of Mourinho and Carvalho, has also been displeased by the defender’s comments. At a meeting with Mourinho during pre-season, Carvalho is believed to have accepted that he would be rotated with others this season.

“Regarding my commentary on being substitute on Chelsea, I just gave my opinion. I do not understand so much noise about it,” the defender said.

Mourinho said: “I told the players this summer that they will need to have patience because we have a great squad and everyone needs an opportunity. Carvalho knows how I work. I think he is just temporarily angry but I will speak with him personally. We can’t have this kind of thing at Chelsea.” Definitely Mourinho, the manager, talking.

LINKS
TELEVISION: Being José Mourinho, Sky One, tonight at 9pm