DAVID Di Michele is almost small enough to look Gianfranco Zola straight in the eye but for some time to come he may have trouble doing that. This was a forgettable game that contained a classic football moment — but not of the glorious kind.

It was not so much a comedy as a whole six-season sitcom series of errors; first, in trying to accept an Alvaro Arbeloa pass, Jamie Carragher lost his balance inexplicably and swiped fresh air, allowing the ball to run free and Di Michele to collect it and bear down on Jose Reina. Di Michele lured the goalkeeper forward and nicked the ball past him with his right foot. So far so good.

Then came the banana skin. The West Ham striker was four yards out, the goal was open and all he had to do was tap the ball in. Instead Di Michele lost co-ordination. His left foot came down in the wrong spot, he stumbled into the ball and it was somehow knocked wide of the goal. An attempt to retrieve the situation, and his pride, ended in further ignominy. Di Michele threw himself on the grass, looking for a penalty. Instead Alan Wiley booked him for simulation — Di Michele deserved punishment for trying to fake being a striker.

That is harsh, of course, for he is a fine little footballer who has had a decent career in Serie A and a reasonable first season in the Premier League but Di Michele’s performance was typical of his team’s, whose collective off-day allowed Liverpool to overtake Manchester United once more with a modicum of effort. The team Rafael Benitez picked did not have to fight their way to the top of the table but were shown to it, as if their opponents were obliging restaurant staff. Steven Gerrard, his first strike coming with the game barely started, scored for the 22nd and 23rd time this season and Ryan Babel, a substitute, added a third Liverpool goal late on, heading Dirk Kuyt’s cross against Robert Green and knocking home the rebound.

Before kick-off the stadium announcer thanked fans for their away support against Stoke but there was a further loyalty test for the faithful as soon as the game began. In Steve Clarke, West Ham have one of the best coaches of defending in the country but the home side conceded in the manner of 11 strangers who had not even had beginners’ lesson in stopping opposition sides.

Worse, they were breached within two minutes — in fact just 79 seconds were gone when Steven Gerrard rolled the ball into an empty West Ham net. Fernando Torres, who should have an Asbo slapped on him, so wicked and unruly is the Spaniard when you give him freedom in your community, was allowed space to come short and collect a pass from Alvaro Arbeloa and then turn on the ball and survey the options ahead of him. There was Gerrard, making a wonderful diagonal run, slicing through the gap between James Tomkins and Matthew Upson.

West Ham’s centre-backs could have still retrieved the situation had they been able to effect the basic — for professionals — task of stepping up in unison to play Gerrard offside, but this was beyond them. Tomkins was fractionally slow in his movement, allowing Gerrard to be in a legal position at the moment Torres slipped the ball through for him. He rounded Green easily and a moment later net was embracing ball.

Very early goals often have the curious effect of knocking not only the conceding side but the scoring one out of their stride. Liverpool, who had presumed this would be a tricky afternoon, this fixture seeming the most awkward left on their calendar, arrived expecting graft not gifts, and took some time to focus their play.

The loss of Xabi Alonso had the inevitable negative effect upon the quality of their passing, while Gianfranco Zola’s team had too many players unable to use the ball sensibly. With three-quarters of their midfield malfunctioning, Zola’s side had no rhythm and when Junior Stanislas managed to overhit a cross so badly it missed the entire 18-yard box the little Italian reacted with the theatrical incredulity of pasta chef told his tomato sauce is no good.

Yet with Liverpool declining to impose themselves, West Ham, largely through the sweat of Mark Noble, gained influence in the game and Kovac missed an excellent chance to equalise, heading high over the bar from four yards out.

Tomkins partly redeemed himself by flicking out a boot with marvellous timing to dispossess Yossi Benayoun just as the former West Ham player was about to pull the trigger. But soon Gerrard was scoring into an empty net again, this time after Green saved his penalty kick and the ball stopped obligingly for the Liverpool captain to convert.

The award was controversial, not because of Wiley’s decision to penalise Boa Morte for tugging down Torres as he sprinted on to a suprisingly competent dinked pass from Lucas but for the official’s failure to give Boa Morte a free kick at the other end of the field. Javier Mascherano appeared to trip him but Wiley criss-crossed his arms to signal “no foul” and Liverpool counter-attacked. Boa Morte, blood still boiling, made his hot-headed challenge on Torres. Liverpool, without having put much into the game, were 2-0 ahead.

When Di Michele then had his “50 Greatest Football Bloopers” moment it was plain that here were three points on a platter. Liverpool could coast through the second half playing on the break. From a Dirk Kuyt cross, Benayoun volleyed just over; Torres headed close; Gerrard led a counter from Liverpool’s 18-yard-line to West Ham’s one and Kuyt missed when the captain played him in. Before being substituted Di Michele had one decent attempt, swivelling skilfully to almost turn a cut-back past Reina, but even if he had scored no one was going to forget his aberration.

WEST HAM: Green, Neill, Tomkins, Upson, Ilunga, Boa Morte (Payne 80min), Noble, Kovac, Stanislas (Collison 59min), Di Michele (Sears 70min), Tristan

LIVERPOOL: Reina, Arbeloa, Skrtel, Carragher, Aurelio (Insua 54min), Benayoun, Mascherano, Lucas, Gerrard, Kuyt, Torres (Babel 72min).