Manchester, united. A man in a City shirt, the pale blue incongruous amid the vivid red and mournful black around Old Trafford, stood beneath the famous clock and plaque and read through the tributes to the Munich missing. “I had to come,” he said. “Show my respects.” He gave his name but requested anonymity. “My mates will think I'm going soft.” He shook hands with the people around him.

For a moment, at least, a divide was bridged and partisan lines blurred as supporters congregated to remember 23 snatched lives and celebrate new beginnings. Manchester United's tragedy was football's loss, a city's loss, a country's. As the Rev John Boyers, the United club chaplain, put it, February 6, 1958 was a day “blue and red stood side by side and wept together”.

Officials at United and City hope that the same sense of solidarity will be embraced at this weekend's Manchester derby - at least until kick-off - and yesterday's service of remembrance, which was held inside Old Trafford, for those who perished when British European Airways Flight 609 ZU crashed in Munich exactly 50 years earlier, brought an inclusive form of grief.

The names and the faces were so recognisable that they belong to each of us, no matter the tribal affiliations. Sir Bobby Charlton, one of the survivors, spoke movingly about the destruction of a team “that were on the brink of reaching for the moon” and of the ethos that endured Munich and still lingers. The link stretches all the way to Sir Alex Ferguson's league champions.

“Sir Matt Busby used to remind us that Trafford Park, just beside us, was the largest industrial estate in Europe,” Charlton said, “that people had worked hard and worked long and that it was up to us to go out on a Saturday to provide some entertainment for them. We were encouraged to express ourselves - if you've got players who are confident to express themselves, then the world is your oyster.”

Harry Gregg, the goalkeeper, played in an FA Cup tie 13 days after surviving the crash. “I couldn't sit about at home,” he said. “These days you have psychologists, but then you had to help yourself.”

Remarkably, a makeshift United won their match against Sheffield Wednesday 3-0; a picture was shown of Gregg in the dressing-room afterwards. “Look at my eyes,” he said. “There's nothing there.”

Forced then to rely on young players, United now do so by choice. Gary Neville encapsulated the mood. “The magic of United and the way we play football all stems back to them,” the captain, who lit 23 candles in memory of those who died, said. “We're all following in their footsteps.”