Matt Dickinson
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The whims of Roman Abramovich, the pigheadedness of Tom Hicks and the predatory stalking of Alisher Usmanov are in danger of giving the Glazer family a good name, if only by default. The Manchester United owners are coming to be regarded as the least worst owners of the top four clubs, which might sound like damning with faint praise but it is a whole lot more praise than they are used to.
Credit to the Glazers, though, they have not sought to bathe in their marginally enhanced status at a time when there may have been a temptation to launch a rebranding, particularly with another domestic title secured and a Champions League final to savour.
A spokesman declined even to confirm how many Glazers would be going to Moscow tomorrow night. He laughed out loud when it was suggested that the family might like to discuss a successful season. They know that populist moves are a waste of time and that, while they may own everything from the statue of Sir Matt Busby to the taps in the Old Trafford dressing-rooms, they will always be outsiders in their own business.
Their bizarre status was demonstrated at the JJB Stadium a fortnight ago when, after United had clinched the title, the brothers decided that they wanted a souvenir photograph. They ended up, rather pathetically, having to wait until every supporter had gone home to pose in an empty stadium to avoid a barrage of insults.
They still employ security when they visit Manchester to keep watch on them in the hotel and at Old Trafford. When someone has set your effigy alight, even if that was a few trophies ago, you do not want to be taking chances.
Ask United people what influence the family has had on the club since the takeover in 2005 and they point only to tinkering on the commercial side. The Glazers have established an office in London and have “Americanised” some of their business practices - ie, giving it the hard sell. They have squeezed a little more out of the season ticket-holders and the prawn-sandwich brigade without causing riots.
Mostly they have left it to David Gill, the chief executive, to bring in the vast profits that help to make the huge interest repayments (£42million annually). They may turn up at a few high-profile matches and Joel is even said to be able to name the entire first XI without cheating, but they have given up the pretence that it is anything other than good business.
They have done so knowing that, while their reluctance to interfere at present makes them look a trifle more appealing than some of their rival foreign owners, they have not faced anything more challenging than to fine-tune a thriving company - and will not have to do so until the day that Sir Alex Ferguson decides to hang up his hairdryer.
They have had the sense, at least, to know their place in the scheme of things.
McClaren must seize his opportunity
The England manager's job can strip a man of many things; his self-belief, his reputation and sometimes it feels like his sanity. Graham Taylor ended up in the vegetable patch, Kevin Keegan in the Wembley toilets and Steve McClaren under his brolly.
There are no rules, no manual to help a man to recover from such a buffeting - and some, such as Glenn Hoddle, never do recover - but McClaren may just have found his best route back with the offer to join FC Twente in the Netherlands and, with it, the lure of European football and competing for the Eredivisie.
He could hang around and wait for a manager in the Coca-Cola Championship to be sacked or to resign. An offer is bound to come up given the turnover of coaches. As long as McClaren does not mind spending the first 15 minutes of his opening press conference talking about England and umbrellas, he could start the long slog back into the Premier League.
Or he could buck the trend by heading abroad, throw himself at an exciting challenge and try to become that very rare species; a successful export from English football. He has the stage, given that Twente are only two qualifying games away from the Champions League.
It is an intriguing offer, the chance for McClaren to do something novel and to enhance his personal development as a football coach. All he has to do now is summon the boldness to go for it.
Chelsea will simply shrug shoulders on departures
The suggestion that Frank Lampard may be off to Inter Milan will probably be interpreted as disastrous preparation for Chelsea coming on the eve of the Champions League final. Particularly given the speculation that Didier Drogba will follow him to join José Mourinho at the San Siro.
But if any club are capable of shrugging their shoulders, it is Chelsea, where they have adopted instability as official policy. They have lived from day to day with the manager's job under threat, the chief executive interpreting the owner's body language (tricky when he is based in Russia) and the likes of Lampard and Drogba looking to the exit. Another day, another tale of upheaval at Stamford Bridge, but Chelsea's team for the final in Moscow should pick itself apart from a toss-up between Salomon Kalou and Florent Malouda. The interesting decisions fall to Sir Alex Ferguson.
Let us hope that he remains true to his adventurous spirit and selects Carlos Tévez in an attacking trident alongside Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo, with Paul Scholes, Anderson and Michael Carrick in his three-man midfield. United must play to their attacking strengths. To keep it tight is to enter an arm-wrestle with Chelsea. And if it comes down to muscle, Chelsea win.
Aston Villa set to wear their hearts on their shirts
Aston Villa are expected to announce in the next few weeks that, rather than take money from a corporate shirt sponsor, they will devote the front of their jerseys to promoting Acorns, a children's hospice. It is a charitable gesture that will lead them to forfeit up to £2million a year.
They are not the first football club to have realised that there is life beyond the bank balance - Barcelona have a similar tie-up with Unicef - but they are the first in the Barclays Premier League, which is a tribute to Randy Lerner, the owner, and Martin O'Neill, the manager. Lerner may be an American tycoon but evidently he understands football as a force for good rather than a money pot. Shame there are not more like him.
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