Join me on a brief journey along what some like to call the information superhighway. Google, a website whose stated mission is to “organise the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful”, seems like a good place to start.

Type “Cristiano Ronaldo” into the search bar and press enter. Google tells us there are 12.7 million articles. Next, try the following: Diego Maradona (1.65 million), Zinédine Zidane (3.5 million), David Beckham (18.1 million), Stanley Matthews (118,000), Robbie Savage (215,000).

And, turning to clubs, Aston Villa (12.1 million), Manchester United (40 million), AC Milan (18.7 million), Real Madrid (39.3 million), Benfica (14 million), Nottingham Forest (1.62 million), Accrington Stanley (759,000). Arsenal, Barcelona, Chelsea, Celtic, Juventus, Liverpool and others are excluded from the experiment on grounds of ambiguity.

It is not an exact science, but, apart from the relative obscurity of Forest, a few themes emerge. One is that modern-day icons enjoy far greater prominence than legends in their field. (Justin Timberlake, incidentally, features considerably more often than the Beatles or Elvis Presley; likewise Will Ferrell over Marlon Brando.) A second is that there are almost 50 per cent more pages that mention Beckham than Ronaldo, his successor in the United No 7 shirt. And a third, perhaps the most intriguing, is that United and Real are practically neck and neck.

Ronaldo presumably used a rather different process before arriving at the conclusion that the Bernabéu, rather than Old Trafford, is the only fitting stage for his talents, but, as he sits in Portugal plotting his next step and making crass statements to television crews, he may wish to remind himself of the pros and cons of his planned move to Madrid. Pros: closer to family, warmer weather, more money, chance to follow in the footsteps of LuÍs Figo, chance to match and surpass Beckham’s status as a global icon. Cons: leaving the European champions and joining an unstable club in which football comes third to commerce and politics, and policy is dictated from the boardroom rather than the manager’s office.

A couple of days ago, Beckham said: “The truth is that every player . . . wants to play in the Bernabéu some time, to feel the support of the Madrid fans. Real Madrid and the Bernabéu are a unique experience in football.” Notwithstanding Beckham’s love of platitudes, this was a remarkable statement. Whatever Real as a club may be able to boast, the fervour and loyalty of their support is not an obvious selling point.

While match night at the Bernabéu has its attractions – the warm weather, the vertiginous stands, even the brilliant white of that famous kit – a dormant crowd is not one of them. At least not until they get bored or disenchanted, which is when the white handkerchiefs are waved in protest and they turn on their heroes, chanting about burning the players’ Ferraris. Ask Ronaldo (the Brazil variety) about the warmth of Real’s support. Ask Fabio Capello.

No club can match Real’s nine European Cups, but look at that record in context. They won the trophy five times in its first five seasons, between 1956 and 1960, and a sixth time in 1966. In the past 42 years they have won it three times, the same as United, one fewer than Bayern Munich and Ajax, two fewer than Liverpool, three fewer than AC Milan.

They have had the financial means to dominate European football over the past decade, but, particularly during the absurd galáctico era, they have seemed more interested in accumulating trophy players than in winning trophies. Zidane went to Real in search of immortality, but in his five years there he won one Champions League and one domestic title – less than Ronaldo has won in his past two seasons at United. Real have, like United, won their domestic title in the past two seasons, but it is four years since they even reached the quarter-finals of the Champions League.

So what is the Real attraction? Money, obviously, and lifestyle. Those are factors that dictate just about every career choice in just about every field, but Ronaldo should not convince himself that he is going to an indisputably bigger or better club.

Wayne Rooney from Everton to Manchester United? That was a step up. Sergio Ramos from Seville to Real? A step up. Ronaldo from United to Real at a time when the quality and worldwide popularity of the Premier League are soaring? In career terms, a sideways step, possibly even a step down.

Ronaldo will get his wish, no doubt about that. The only question is whether it happens now or next summer. And when he does, and he is paraded by the club’s president in front of an insatiable, cheerleading media on what will doubtless be a wonderfully hot day in the Spanish capital, he will feel that he has finally arrived at a club worthy of his talents.

And then he will retire to his villa, switch on his computer, Google his name and find out that he is closing the gap on Beckham. Maybe his arrival would propel Real beyond United in the Google stakes.

Still, there is a Shrewsbury Town defender who is bigger than either player or either club. There is, of course, only one Michael Jackson.

Petulant Lampard

Spare me the sob story for Frank Lampard, who, at 30, has indicated that he would stay at Chelsea for life if only they would give him the five-year contract he is looking for. At the same age, Ryan Giggs was told that, under the somewhat draconian policy of Manchester United’s former plc board, he would be given no more than a two-year contract.

Giggs could easily have gone elsewhere in search of a last big pay day – and, given the gloom around Old Trafford at that time, might have been advised to do so – but he accepted the two-year contract, which was followed by another two and now, at the age of 34, he has a record tenth Premier League winner’s medal and a second Champions League winner’s medal. Oh yes, and he has also broken Sir Bobby Charlton’s record of appearances for the club – all on a little more than half the reported £130,000-a-week wage that Lampard would earn at Inter Milan.

There are some very good reasons for Lampard to wish to test himself in Italy, but umbrage at Chelsea’s approach to contract negotiations should be the very least of them.

Hooliganism on the rise

A statistic you may have missed last week: 851 people (not including players) were injured at football matches in Germany in 2007. These included 195 police officers, 385 violent supporters and 291 “bystanders”. These figures are alarming and, after a European Championship tournament during which several incidents outside the stadiums were brushed under the carpet by Uefa – most notably the ugly scenes in Klagenfurt for Germany’s game against Poland – they serve as a warning that hooliganism is on the rise once more.

Blackburn worries

Is it too early to express concern for Paul Ince at Blackburn Rovers? With doubts over the future of Brad Friedel, Christopher Samba, David Bentley, Roque Santa Cruz and Benni McCarthy, the former England captain appears to have his work cut out at Ewood Park. The proposed signing of a 33-year-old Robbie Fowler, who started only ten matches for Cardiff City last season, does not inspire confidence.

Jordan’s been had

Simon Jordan, the Crystal Palace chairman, is an egotist whose love of his own voice is matched only by that for his reflection, but it is easy to sympathise with him over the Football League tribunal that ordered Tottenham Hotspur to pay a maximum of £1.25 million for one of the country’s most promising teenagers. John Bostock made his league debut for Palace at 15, has captained the England Under17 team and, while there is no such thing as a safe bet when it comes to 16-year-old footballers, he is on the right track.

In a market in which Arsenal agreed to pay Cardiff City up to £5 million for Aaron Ramsey, another prodigy, Palace have been royally ripped off. And the lesson: if you are a big club, strike a deal with the most promising youngsters at a smaller neighbouring club, refuse to negotiate with the club in question, take the dispute to a tribunal and get yourself a potentially top-class player for peanuts.

Crouch tipped to soar

Not too many of the players whom Rafael BenÍtez has jettisoned from Anfield have returned to haunt him, but Peter Crouch could prove an exception after joining Portsmouth. Bookmakers have him at 33-1 to be the Premier League’s leading scorer next season. Tempting.