AFTER 75 minutes neither side had managed a shot on target and scarcely one off it. A 0-0 scoreline seemed not so much probable as carved into the day’s DNA. Just as the subdued crowd were checking their pulses, the contest exploded with three goals in four minutes and then a vicious twist in stoppage time. As has been noted elsewhere, football is a funny old game.

Stoke City almost undid themselves before a ball was kicked. For all their hardy endeavour, there have been moments when they have been consumed by collective foolishness. The latest saw successive dismissals for Rory Delap and Matthew Etherington and the pair’s joint suspension yesterday. Without Delap they were without their hurled weapon of choice and without Etherington they lacked an alternative means of reaching Portsmouth’s penalty area.

Danny Pugh and Liam Lawrence, making his first start since tripping over his sleeping dog in September, patrolled the areas where Etherington might have been expected to roam — but to little avail.

Paul Hart’s previous managerial stints hardly heralded a renaissance at Barnsley, Nottingham Forest or Chesterfield, but his temporary stint at Fratton Park began well last week against a feeble Manchester City. And, for all their lack of ambition, yesterday may not have entirely hindered his case for being awarded the job full-time. “I’m contracted to the club and my role has been to step into the breach and prepare the team match by match. That’s it,” he noted cagily.

With Jermaine Pennant, jeered by the home support after rejecting a summer move to the Britannia, in one of his more interested moods, they began well yesterday, too. Peter Crouch once again reminded us that whatever the laws of physics promise, height in a centre-forward does not necessarily equate to an aerial threat.

Half-time came and went with neither goalkeepers hardly needing to have changed into his kit. The second half offered more of the same, only marginally more niggly.

“We set out our stall to defend,” admitted Hart. “That’s the right option at Stoke. In the second half, after we’d held them off, the class of our players was beginning to tell.”

Lugubriously, the contest entered its final quarter. Then apropos of nothing, turgid metamorphosised into thrilling. Glen Johnson brought the ball forwards, linking neatly with Crouch for Niko Kranjcar and David Nugent to play a delightful one-two, which ended with the Croat expertly slotting past Thomas Sorensen.

Surely that was that? Hardly. As Portsmouth ought to have known, Stoke’s resolve runs deep indeed. Wounded and therefore at their most dangerous, they not only hauled themselves level, but to Portsmouth’s bewilderment and their own astonishment, clawed themselves ahead.

First, Johnson was perhaps harshly adjudged to have handled Sol Campbell’s sloppy back header after a hopeful Abdoulaye Faye punt forwards. “Glen’s hand was nowhere near the ball,” claimed Hart.

“If we got some luck, that’s fine,” noted his counterpart Tony Pulis.

Unconcerned by Portsmouth’s vehement objections, James Beattie belted home the penalty. More shocking still, Stoke took the lead in their next attack. Andy Wilkinson whizzed down the right and his cross to the back post was met by a Pugh volley that cannoned down into the ground, up into the air and on to the unmarked Beattie’s head inches from goal and past David James.

Extraordinarily, given the overwhelming bulk of what had passed, there was time for a final heart-stopping salvo. Seeking redress for the penalty decision, Johnson strolled forwards and crossed high and deep. Amdy Faye inadvertently headed on and the ball fell to Hermann Hreidarsson, whose low, hard drive was surely thundering wide. To the Icelander’s joy, it took an almighty deflection off Ryan Shawcross and past the helpless Sorensen. That may have been a cruel blow to Stoke but they could hardly quibble with the result, although Pulis attempted to anyway. “That was two points lost,” he argued. “It wasn’t that great a game but, even if the deflection was unfortunate, we shouldn’t have switched off.”

STOKE: Sorensen 6, Wilkinson 6, Shawcross 6, Abdoulaye Faye 6, Higginbotham 6, Lawrence 5, Diao 5, Amdy Faye 6, Pugh 5, Beattie 6, Sidibe 6.

PORTSMOUTH: James 6, Johnson 6, Campbell 6, Distin 6, Hreidarsson 6, Pennant 7, Davis 6, Basinas 6, Kranjcar 6, Nugent 5, Crouch 5.