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Call the police. Send for the Fraud Squad. There's an impostor at large.
His nickname is Paddy and he looks every bit the friendly sort of Irishman you hope to bump into at a bar in Dublin. He plays a bit of golf but you wouldn't know to what level because he doesn't talk about it much. All you know is that he sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when he plays.
You wouldn't be surprised if he said "begorrah" or "top of the morning" when he sees you nor would you be surprised if he gave a little tip of his hat on leaving. You know he has a strong Dublin accent because you can hear it. Oh yes. And he doesn't drink.
Who is this man? He says his name is Padraig Harrington but that can't be right.
The current Padraig Harrington is making a very good effort to become the best golfer in the world in the absence of Tiger Woods. He is determined, focused, analytical and highly intelligent. He has developed an aura about him that intimidates some of his rivals. On occasions he can will the ball into the hole as he did on the 70th, 71st and 72nd holes of the US PGA on Sunday. His short game may be the best in the world.
The current Padraig Harrington, the one we know now, took the lead in the Open last month by shouldering his way past his rivals and then bringing off a series of audacious strokes that deservedly won him the old silver trophy. The other Padraig Harrington used to find ways of coming second.
The current Padraig Harrington wins and wins and wins - three of the past six major championships. He has had the most successful and quickest makeover in the history of modern golf, quicker even than Nick Faldo who rebult his swing in the mid-eighties and then won six major championships in the next nine years. The swing of the other Padraig Harrington was once descrbed by his coach as "having no penetration, having a poor ball flight and being technically unsound."
The current Padraig Harrington likes nothing better than to be in the thick of it on a Sunday afternoon at a major championship. "I live to play the last nine holes of a major championship" he said. "I love it so much I am disappointed that the next major championship is eight months away."
The other Padraig Harrington won the Open 13 months ago but he won it nervously, taking six strokes up the 72nd hole. He didn't look particularly comfortable until he had the silver jug in his hands.
So there you have it. The old Padraig Harrington has reinvented himself in 13 months into the new Padraig Harrington. He has used his intelligence to improve himself, Bob Torrance to transform his golf, a personal trainer to beef up his physique, Bob Rotella to rid himself of any moments of doubt.
The old Padraig Harrington has gone. Hail to the new Padraig Harrington, the third best golfer in the world.
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