Pizzas galore!

"I took them to TGI Fridays in Perth the other night and paid £315 for dinner.

"I have booked a table for dinner for 13 at Gleneagles. I was told I couldn't have a table that big because 13 was an unlucky number. They said to me: "Mac Bear will be joining you," Mr Montgomerie. We have added another setting to your table for him. Imagine that. A teddy bear!"

After breakfast Montgomerie led a cavalcade of buggies around the course. He was solicitous of enquiries. He pointed out the pine trees, acknowledging that they wouldn't be much of a hindrance because the branches did not start until six or eight feet up the trunk/off the ground so that, though a golfer could be in the trees, he would still have a shot.

Interveiwed by local television he remembered all the key phrases. "This part of Turkey could be the next Algarve," he said. "It's only an hour or so on by plane from Spain." He said he hoped the World Amateur Team Trophy would be held at Belek (as it was later announced it would be). He stood on the 10th tee and hit 18 drives, one with each three-ball of amateurs that came through.

Steinbeck made his trip because he knew he was dying and wanted to see his country one last time. Montgomerie made his trip for commercial reasons. Each found satisfaction in his own way.

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Camilo Villegas, 26, who won two tournaments on the US tour last month, and Anthony Kim, 23, who at 8th is one place lower than Villegas in the world rankings, have joined the European Tour. Geoff Ogilvy is said to be considering it, as is Robert Allenby.

Sources reveal that Phil Mickelson would do it if he could make playing on the European Tour fit in with his intention of playing 20 to 22 events in total next year. There is no sign yet of him achieving this and time is running out. For the American to stand any chance of playing in the 12 required for membership of the European Tour, he has to commit himself before the start of next week's HSBC Champions event in Shanghai, the first of the 2009 schedule.

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The European Tour ends in Spain on November 2. Here are my awards for 2008, otherwise known as The Hoppys.

Longest driver: Alvaro Quiros, who regularly hits it further than Emanuele Canonica. His average distance is said to be 309 yards but his fellow pros reckon it is more likely to be 20 yards further than that.

Best driving demonstration: Sergio Garcia in the second round of The Players Championship in May where he found every one of the 14 fairways on a windy day and a difficult golf course.

Best putting demonstration: Robert Karlsson in the Saturday fourballs of the Ryder Cup when he single-putted six greens in a row and he and Henrik Stenson snatched a half with Phil Mickelson and Hunter Mahan.

Best iron player: Padraig Harrington on any given week, even though it was a 5-wood to the 71st hole at the Open that set up a successful defence of his title.

Best coach: Bob Torrance, for his work with Harrington and his part in Harrington's victories in the last two major championships of the year.

Best wedding: Colin Montgomerie's in April. Rumour has it that it cost £1million (twice as much as Greg Norman's, allegedly).

Best father and son combination: Des Smyth, the engaging Irishman and the oldest winner on the European Tour, who is returning to the Seniors Tour in Europe after winning $4.3million in six seasons on the Champions' Tour in the US, and Greg Smyth, his son, who was famous in the family for saying: "I'm going to win the lottery" and one day earlier this year did just that, investing E4 on a quick pick and winning €9m.

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Hero of the week

Jaime Ortiz-Patino first for bringing the Volvo Masters to Valderrama, his course in southern Spain, and then making the course so demanding and well groomed that it provided a fitting test for the last event of the year on the European Tour.

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The week in 60 seconds

From hearing Sergio Garcia dedicate his victory in the Castello Masters to Severiano Ballesteros, Padraig Harrington's articulate appeal for more recognition by the European Tour of Ballesteros's contributions to golf and the first sight of the Finca Cortesin golf course near Estepone which will host next year's Volvo World Match Play Championship.