When Robert Allenby dared to suggest that Anthony Kim was golf's "current John Daly" he knew exactly what he was saying. He had just been soundly beaten by the brash young American in a Presidents Cup match and expressed his surprise that somebody who had come in "sideways" at four that morning could play so well. As backhanded compliments go, they do not come much better.

Needless to say, Kim denied the accusation and said he hoped the Australian had been joking. He hadn't. Cue sharp intake of breath from the PGA Tour's bigwigs - chief among them, one imagines, Tim Finchem, the commissioner - and the subsequent cranking up of the tour's publicity machine.

Not long after, in statements issued through the PGA Tour itself, both players backed away from a fight and suggested that it was time to move on. Sanitised? The whole thing was so clean, you could have eaten your dinner off it.

"While I feel like the comments published were taken out of context, I did call Anthony to apologise for anything that I said or inferred that could possibly portray Anthony as anything less than a professional of the highest calibre," Allenby is quoted as saying. Ever heard an Aussie speaking like that? Thought not.

"Robert and I have spoken about the comments he made after the final day of competition, and I've accepted his apology," Kim's statement read. Hmm.

Quite rightly, no player should be allowed to bad-mouth another. But if Allenby believed what he said at the time, he should have stuck to it. When Justin Langer, his countryman, produced a dossier this summer on the England cricket team, describing them as "lazy, shallow and flat", he would not have lost too much sleep over the furore it caused. There was a battle to be fought and he could not have given a damn whose feelings he hurt.

The best answer to any of this is to beat the one who damns you. England did just that by removing the Ashes from Australia's grasp and Kim did the same in his cold and calculated demolition of Allenby in the semi-final of the Volvo World Match Play Championship last weekend. It was soon pretty obvious that he had not forgiven or forgotten Allenby's comments. While his play was not gracious that day, or his etiquette of the highest order, it made for fascinating sport. And that, ultimately, is why people pay to watch.

Put your shirt on drugs Barron

So, golf has its first drugs cheat. Not a household name, mind you, but a 40-year-old never-has-been by the name of Doug Barron. We don't yet know what he took - transparency in the sport does not yet go quite that far - but we do know that the American is now banned for 12 months from playing professionally anywhere in the world.

Obviously what the game needs at such a distressing time is an explanation from the player himself. Luckily, the PGA Tour has been on hand to help him draft one and, of its type, it is a real beauty.

"I would like to apologize for any negative perception of the tour or its players resulting from my suspension," Barron said in the statement. "I want my fellow tour members and the fans to know that I did not intend to gain an unfair competitive advantage or enhance my performance while on tour." Who speaks like that?

The word among some fellow pros is that Barron should simply remove his shirt - as he once did to play a shot out of water - and then ask: "Is this the body of a man on steroids?"