1 McDonald’s That’s the Liverpool Church Street branch. You’re a well-known millionaire footballer with a nice house. You’ve just had Boxing Day off because of injury. And where do you find yourself at 5.30am? In bed dreaming of how you can help Sam Allardyce save his job? No, you don’t, you find yourself at that haunt of professional athletes the world over, McDonald’s. And you’re surprised when trouble happens...

2 Gary’s, Baden-Baden Frank Lampard’s Elen Rives did a table dance (badly), Michael Carrick’s Lisa Roughead sang Dancing Queen (badly) and the Carraghers assaulted I Will Survive (badly) at the 2006 World Cup. ‘Not even the stores of Vuitton and Gucci can keep up with the daily attack of the hooligans with visas,’ noted ABC’s reporter

3 North Berwick pubs The night Fred Couples fled the 1992 Open at Muirfield after missing the cut, his wife Deborah was strutting her ample stuff on the tables of the pubs of North Berwick until fellow golfer Billy Ray Brown forcibly stopped her and escorted her from the premises. The Coupleses were decoupled the next year

4 Nobu’s broom cupboard In1999, with his wife in hospital, Boris Becker visited Park Lane’s Nobu restaurant. After spotting Angela Ermakowa, who, he claimed had ‘the look of the hunter that said: “I want you”’, Becker ushered her into the broom cupboard. Nine months later, out popped their daughter

5 Banana Joe’s Tired and emotional after cheerleadering for the Carolina Panthers, Angela Keathley and Renee Thomas went to the toilets together, at the Tampa bar. Here, they indulged in some distinctly Sapphic activity, which caused those waiting to complain. Thomas assaulted one before Keathley was booked for resisting arrest

6 Bar Toulzac In 1997, after losing away in Brive, Pontypridd’s players hit the same bar as their opponents. Nature took its course: ‘I was sworn at as soon as they came in,’ sobbed owner Bruno Marty. ‘Chairs were smashed and glasses broken. I thought someone might be killed.’ Three years later, they pulled off the same stunt in Toulouse

7 China Jump Bar, Hong Kong For much of the Nineties, there was a good chance that somewhere in the world was a bar where Paul Gacsoigne had misbehaved. Two years before his West End pub crawl (see below), Gazza had left his mark in the Far East as England wound up their tour of Asia, ahead of Euro 96. Celebrating his 29th birthday, the England player along with Teddy Sheringham gave locals an indication of why the passing of British rule might not be a bad thing, after all

8 Jury’s Hotel With the Ireland v England game abandoned, Vinnie Jones and hangers-on march into the Dublin hotel and throw toast at Gary Lineker. Jones then bites tabloid hack Ted Oliver on the nose. ‘I always do that to people,’ sneers Jones. ‘Can I get you an ambulance, Ted?’ Oliver is asked. ‘No,’ he replies, ‘get me a photographer’

9 Palms Cafe, Soho With Glenn Hoddle days away from selecting his World Cup 1998 squad, Paul Gascoigne and Chris Evans and Danny Baker popped in for a £3 kebab from the Palms Cafe on Brewer Street. The trio later claimed to have been in bed by midnight, but the photographs made their way to the papers. The Cafe’s Gazza Kebab would go on to be a huge seller

10 Great John Street Hotel A Christmas party organized by Rio to which dozens of ‘models’ but no wags were invited didn’t even seem like a good idea at the time for Manchester United’s squad. Even so, Sir Alex approved, United booked the 30-room, four-star hotel and Jonny Evans has now been farmed off to Sunderland

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