Martina Navratilova

1 Oh Martina, what are you thinking? Tragically, it seems that her 18 grand slams were but hors d’oeuvres for the main course: I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, starting tonight. For a rumoured £30,000, she will squeal during the bush tucker trials, annoy someone who used to be in EastEnders, get very homesick and lose every last shred of dignity

Peter Schmeichel

2 Always uncomfortable when shouting at his teammates and gesticulating hysterically are not the done thing, the far from great Dane wisely chose not to blame his partner Erin Boag for their elimination on Strictly Come Dancing 2006. ‘He doesn’t know anything yet, compared to Miss Whiplash,’ she noted, strangely. Their gurning waltz to The Greatest Love Of All had to be seen to be believed, but not necessarily in a good way

Greg Rusedski

3 The ‘British’ tennis player’s stint on Dancing on Ice was far from fruitful, despite his promise that ‘I’m hoping to unleash the inner sexy me’. Luckily, the inner sexy him remained caged; instead he was laid low by a stomach bug and then got all huffy when judge Jason Gardiner threatened to resign if Rusedski reached the final. Even with the ironic vote, there was no chance of that

Lee Sharpe

4 He could have been a contender but, to the wrath of Alex Ferguson, he preferred to party. Then, shortly before securing a deal to promote a baldness treatment, Lee set sail to Celebrity Love Island in 2005 where he met Abi Titmuss. On their return, they lived together for a few weeks until he ran off, first with a shop girl and then with a Page 3 model. Classy

Dennis Rodman

5 Famous for cross-dressing, for telling all about his ex (Madonna) and for a lively basketball career, Dennis Rodman seemed just the maverick to inject life into Celebrity Big Brother 2006. Instead George Galloway pretended to be a pussycat, Pete Burns terrified the nation and Dennis’s dreadfully dull contribution was soon forgotten. ‘It was very difficult being in that house, just sitting around talking about this and that and smoking cigars,’ he explained, poor lamb

Diego Maradona

6 Surprisingly nimble on his feet for a tubby drug addict, in 2005 Maradona was a twinkle-toed sensation on the Italian reality TV show Dancing With The Stars. Then, since he owed £20 million in Italian back taxes, the Roman tax police decided they would keep his fee. So he stopped dancing. A shame, all things considered

Mark Philippoussis

7 You’d think many a wholesome young lady would enjoy dating Australian multi-millionaire tennis star Mark Philippoussis. You’d be wrong. Hence the 2007 American reality show Age Of Love where the winner, chosen from six ‘kittens’ (ie girls younger than him) and six ‘cougars’ (ie women much older than him) got to date our hero. Surprise, surprise, a ‘kitten’ won, 25-year-old cheerleader Amanda Salinas. The programme finished in August; they’d split by October

Shane Warne

8 Never one to resist the temptation to send himself up, Warne appeared on the funny Australian comedy (not, historically, an overcrowded area) Kath & Kim. He played Wayne, a Shane Warne impersonator who is hopeless at cricket and doesn’t own a mobile phone

Sally Gunnell

9 Fools On Horses didn’t seem like an especially good idea at the time. Take some minor celebrities, make them do some equestrian events and see who wins. Sally Gunnell and her horse Ralph (who actually turned out to be the more incisive interviewer) finished ahead of Paul Nicholas but behind Ruby Wax. Sally is currently the face of the British chicken industry

Nancy Kerrigan

10 Famous for being attacked by associates of her rival Tonya Harding, Nancy was also capable of shooting herself in the foot, hence her early departure from the 1994 Winter Olympics to appear in a Disney parade. ‘This is dumb,’ she mumbled to Mickey Mouse, not realising that a microphone was broadcasting her every word. ‘I hate it. This is the corniest thing I have ever done.’ A $2 million sponsorship deal helped assuage her pain

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