1 Kelly Sotherton and Jade Johnson Oh, those crazy long jumpers. Jade Johnson reckons her fellow Brit “lacks respect”. Apparently it began after the 2004 Olympic medal ceremony, when, claims Johnson, Sotherton started “shouting and ranting”. Two years and a few Sotherton sneers later, Johnson eloquently suggested that “she should shut her mouth”. Then she attempted to have it out, woman-to-woman, at the AAA Championships in Sheffield a fortnight ago and they were separated by security. “It was like talking to a small child,” sighed Johnson. Sotherton refused to comment. Last week the pair again competed in Birmingham. Sotherton applauded Johnson but the compliment was not returned and they stood with their backs to each other. They are unlikely to share a room in Melbourne at the Commonwealth Games, although the flight there should be fun.

2 Jordan, Posh Spice and Nicola Smith February 25, 2001, and a Dwight Yorke hat-trick has helped Manchester United to a 6-1 victory over Arsenal. Yorke’s amour, Katie “Jordan” Price, strolls into the players’ lounge to be greeted by Victoria Beckham and her friend Nicola Smith. The gruesome twosome launch into a rendition of Who Let the Dogs Out? Not nice.

3 Anna Kournikova and Martina Hingis In 2000 the long-suffering folk of Santiago, Chile, finally had something to cheer their troubled souls when those tennis ambassadresses, Kournikova and Hingis, agreed to take part in an exhibition match (albeit for half the nation’s gross domestic product, but that’s a side issue). The friendly facade lasted until Hingis disputed a line call and Kournikova refused to yield. As they crossed over, Hingis sneered: “You think you are the tennis queen, but I am!” Kournikova simply reminded her who was the more marketable, and that’s where sporting instinct stopped. Later in the dressing room there was screaming and hair-pulling, which resulted in Kournikova being sacked from their doubles partnership for several years.

4 Anastasia Myskina and Maria Sharapova A late replacement in the 2004 Federation Cup, Anastasia Myskina played a blinder to defeat France. Then Shamil Tarpischev, Russia’s tennis overlord, had the bright idea of inviting Maria Sharapova — and therefore her scary father, Yuri — into the 2005 fold. The team rebelled and Myskina threatened to walk out before coach Larisa Neiland intervened. “Maria’s main problem is her father. I just don’t see how he would co-exist with other girls’ parents and team officials. He basically tells everyone to get lost.” said Neiland. Needless to say, such nonsense wouldn’t have happened in Stalin’s day.

5 Sally Robbins and Australia Aussie rower Sally got a bit tired during the 2,000m women’s eight final at Athens. So, with just 400m to go, and Australia in third place, she stopped, as you do in the Olympics after years of intensive training. Australia finished last. “Fatigue set in and I just couldn’t move,” she muttered, adding: “It’s a feeling of paralysis .” Robbins was scorned back home. Even now she is invited to a barbie only if she agrees to go on it. Her unsympathetic teammates threatened to throw her in the water, and one, Catriona Oliver, slapped tired Sally at the “welcome home” parade in Sydney. The Melbourne Herald Sun headlined: It’s Eight, Mate, Pull Your Weight.

When asked if she would row with Robbins again, stroke Kyeema Doyle simply noted: “I’ll row single scull for a while.”

6 Zola Budd and Mary Decker Having been fast-tracked into the Great Britain team for the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics — via the dubious offices of The Daily Mail — South African Budd was vilified by the anti-apartheid movement. Still, after 1,700 of the 3,000m, a gold medal was in her grasp. Twice, though, Budd was bumped by Mary Decker. When the American tried it a third time, she slipped and tumbled out of the race in agony before being carried over the finish line by her husband. Always fragile, Budd’s morale collapsed as she was jeered by the Americans, who didn’t mind the apartheid business, but did mind when one of their own was clobbered. She finished seventh and tried to apologise to Decker, who hissed: “Don’t bother.” Budd started crying again. True sportmanship.

7 Gail Devers, Juliet Cuthbert and Gwen Torrence After losing in the 100m final in Barcelona in 1992, Gwen Torrence claimed to reporters that two of the three medallists were “dirty”. The Jamaican Juliet Cuthbert was incensed: “Nobody likes Torrence. Nobody on her own team likes her! She’s the biggest bitch in track.” Russian Irina Privalova wisely kept her counsel, but gold medallist Gail Devers issued a denial. Torrence was unrepentant: “When track is over I still want my kidneys and liver, not a disease because I wanted to win a race.”

8 Venus Williams and Irina Spirlea In 1997, on her way to becoming the US Open’s first unseeded finalist, Venus Williams met unfancied Romanian Irina Spirlea in the semis. Spirlea bumped into Williams during a changeover. The Williams camp claimed that she said something racist. Venus looked suitably misty-eyed before going on to win. Later, her in-no-way-overprotective father Richard merely retorted that Spirlea was “a big, ugly, tall, white turkey”. Which was nice.

9 Jana Pittman and Tamsyn Lewis This especially enjoyable spat began in the build-up to the 2004 Olympics when Lewis suggested Pittman was a drama queen. Pittman then saw a scantily clad Lewis in a magazine and suggested she was more “bikini babe” than athlete. Ooh, get you. Pittman cruised through the heats of the Australian championships earlier this month and declared she had no serious competition. Lewis won the final! The pair are scheduled to exchange the baton in the 400m relay at the Commonwealth Games. Hopefully, they’ll club each other with it.

10 Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan Pretty Nancy Kerrigan was speaking to a reporter at the 1994 US Olympic ice-skating trials when a guy hit her on the knee with a blunt instrument. Tonya Harding won the trial before it was discovered that her husband was responsible for the assault. Kerrigan lost gold by 0.1 of a point. Harding finished eighth and was given a life ban for “hindering an investigation”.

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