There’s some people on the pitch, they think it’s all started ... it has now.

Or it will later today, anyhow. Two days short of the opening ceremony and with the torch barely a flicker in its father’s eye, the Olympic Games kicks into life when Argentina’s female footballers take on Canada in the match they’ve all been waiting for.

All 22 players, that is. The attention of the host nation will be firmly focused on events three hours later, when the China team take to the pitch in the hope of becoming the first to strike a blow in the name of national unity. They play Sweden and, if it sounds like a less appealing spectacle than Bruce Forsyth in a corset, make no mistake: it’s very important business here.

A run of disappointing results has led to the appointment of five different coaches since the 2004 Games and the last incumbent, an internationally respected French woman called Elisabeth Loisel, was sacked earlier this year when the team decided it had had enough of her methods. Some of the players are thought to have complained that she arrived late for training and once missed the bus.

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China will hope not to make the same mistake today, but they will have to cope without their star striker. Ma Xiaoxu, the Asian Women’s Footballer of the Year in 2006, damaged ligaments in her left knee during a practice match against the US last week and is not expected to play.

So here we go then, the Olympic Games are upon us a full 48 hours earlier than most will realise. Who said there was too much football these days?