Never tried watching paint dry but this is probably as close as it gets down here at the Olympic Sailing Regatta. Well, that is only partially true because, as I write this, the rain is pouring down the sloping floor to ceiling windows of the media centre that looks out over a dreary Fushan Bay like some sort of man-made architectural waterfall. We could be in a carwash for all we know.

White waves are crashing against the artificial concrete rocks that protect the breakwater and all I can see through the spray is a couple of brave windsurfers and a single representative of one of the dozens of official launches that patrol the event.

I have no idea which official at the International Olympic Committee was responsible for handing the rights for sailing to Qingdao - but he is a twerp of the first order. Not that there is anything wrong with the city because it appears to be terrific; bright, lively with good hotels and restaurants and a waterfront that would be a credit to any country in the world. But it has one spectacular drawback: it is rubbish for sailing.

Throughout the first week, there were constant postponements because there was not enough wind and the whole daft palaver culminated on Saturday on what should have been the most exciting day of the regatta, with Ben Ainslie set for a thrilling head-to-head for the gold medal with Zach Railey, of the United States, and Britain's Yngling crew trying to sneak their gold.

Back to reality for golden generation

Olympic heroes will discover if the last 17 days has been a life-changing experience or a glorious but brief interlude

• Team GB to be rewarded with gold for gold

• Hard work starts now as British sailors look towards London 2012

• Public support gained from success in Beijing needs to last four years

BACKGROUND

• How the Brits became world beaters

• London double-decker arrives in Beijing

• Olympics proves capacity for greatness

• New dawn for British sport as Olympic sun sets

Related Links

• Sunday best for Ainslie and girls

What we got was beautiful sunshine, not a breath of wind and a farce. Matters are made worse because the medal races - the final events of each series, which are lined up as nail-biting deciders with double points to be won and lost - are held inshore so that they are in front of the vast spectator area along the breakwater. Even if it is blowing a gale out in the Yellow Sea, it is like a millpond off the breakwater.

Ainslie's Finn class eventually got underway after an 85-minute delay and two false starts because the wind, or lack of it, and tides were against the competitors. They eventually got away but then the wind just died as they all rounded the first marker. We were left with the world's best sailor slumped in the bilge of of his dinghy, dangling his legs over the side and joking with Railey, who was becalmed just behind him, as their sails flapped in a breeze that wouldn't dry the weekly washing.

Ainslie, who we can assume knows a little about sailing as a double Olympic gold medallist, is less than impressed with the choice of Olympic venue. But it is clear that the demands of television kept them in their craft for hours on end with no hope of a fair contest ever taking place. Potty.

***

Of course, aside from the psychological tension of all this waiting and the starts and stops, there are the phsyical demands. Ainslie was out on the water at noon on Saturday and not back on dry land until getting on for 5pm. Which led me to ponder an important question that is always at the forefront of men's minds? Where did he pee? Come on, it is a valid question. Five hours on a boat in front of a worldwide telly audience. Well, I checked with the British Olympic Association and the official answer is: they do it in their wetsuits. Yes, horrible thought but they have to do something.

Actually, I asked the question of the Formula One boys during my days as a motor racing correspondent and the answer was exactly the same. Eddie Irvine (remember him?) was as blunt as usual when he told me: "It's not as though we can pull into the motorway services, is it?" No, probably not.

***

Sunday morning has brought torrential rain and we arrived at Qingdao harbour to see the Star and Tornado class boats on their way in surprisingly early, which made us all groan with anticipation of another dud day. Turns out they had to return to base for a reason not entirely of Mother Nature's making, for once. Apparently, the Committee Boat, which controls their races, was rolling about so much in the heavy seas, it was taking on water and in danger of sinking. Whatever next? Sharks?

***

There was a bit of a panic, though, after I set the alarm so that I wouldn't miss poor Paula's marathon attempt, only to discover I couldn't find coverage anywhere on my 50-channel hotel television. Could it be anything to do with the polite notice left in my room by the housekeeper, which informs me that I should be "kindly advised that some channels in the guest rooms will be temporarily shut down during the Olympic Games as per the request from the government. Unfortunately, we have no control over the request".

Found Paula's race eventually (although starting to wish I hadn't) but what have the authorities blacked out, I wonder? Coronation Street (how is Ken coping with Blanche accusing him of being a homosexual, by the way)? The Bill? Not complaining about that. Porn? probably. That's not good for you anyway. Makes you go blind, my grandma said. Where are my glasses ....

***

Quite like the idea of a 46-year-old man called Potent being pleased with his performance, though. Warren Potent, took bronze in the men's 50m rifle prone final, and then told us: "I am still getting to my prime. I am maturing with age, you know, like a good wine." Good on him.

***

Some athletes were, quite rightly, not worrying about the weather or their potency because they were in church on Sunday morning. There is a venue in the Beijing Athletes' Village called the religious service centre, which caters for Jews, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists and Hindus. No mention of Scientology, though. Hope they all prayed for the weather in Qingdao. We need divine intervention.