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There were no redeeming features for England, no crumbs of comfort or, indeed, any positives to be taken away from the Telstra Dome, or “Torture Dome” for Tony Smith’s struggling side. As blindingly good as Australia were, they were aided and abetted by one of the worst performances by a national team in living memory. England’s World Cup is not over, although it felt like it here yesterday.
How do you come back from a 48-point drubbing, a record World Cup defeat? Answer: you probably don’t. All the talk of self-belief will only sound shrill now from a team whose confidence was stripped away by the worst possible start, leaving them like rabbits in the headlamps of the onrushing Greg Inglis and Billy Slater, the coruscating centre and full back pair, who each collected hat-tricks in a nine-try rout of hopeless and humiliated opponents.
From 12-0 down, England had hinted at a recovery, only to collapse in time-honoured fashion, although from a side with genuine aspirations in the tournament, it was an especially depressing experience. Their increasingly frenetic efforts to play an expansive game descended into slapstick — they dropped off tackles, lost any shape in defence and were mercilessly picked off by lightning-quick Kangaroos, for whom Scott Prince’s peerless display at scrum half encapsulated the difference between the countries.
Australia can lose a player of Johnathan Thurston’s calibre and call up Prince — there is no such depth in the British game. Whereas Australia unsheathed the rapier talents of Inglis and Slater, England wielded a blunt sword. But James Roby did bludgeon his way over during a 15-minute spell when Australia were hounded into errors.
Once off the hook, Australia were untouchable and England went from bad to worse. The final siren came as a relief to players who still looked shell-shocked an hour later. James Graham’s first experience of playing against Australia was a cathartic one. This season’s Man of Steel tried hard but got nowhere. “Special players like Slater and Inglis do those things, but I’d never come up against anything like that before,” the St Helens prop said. “Give them that amount of ball and no team can defend that.”
If there was any consolation to be drawn, it was the normally taciturn Ricky Stuart’s assessment that his Australia team were nothing short of brilliant, even by their standards. “You certainly don’t predict those scorelines,” the coach said. “I’ve complimented the players on their professionalism and the way they played for the full 80 minutes. There were stages in the first half where we really had to hang in, but you saw exceptional attacking flair, some of the best pieces of individual talent I’ve seen at this level.”
Stuart’s message to his team for the remaining three weeks is “relentlessly go for the throat”, whereas Smith has a pool match on Saturday and semi-final, both against New Zealand, to pick England off the canvas. The possibility of facing Australia in the final on November 22 is not worth considering at this stage. “It’s a tournament where we get another chance,” Smith said. “As long as we get closer to our best, we’re still in with a shot.”
England can only get better — how they could be worse? Slater and Inglis’s clinical tries in the first nine minutes set the tone. Although Roby’s try sparked England into life, it was temporary. Inglis’s second try was spectacular, followed by the first of Anthony Laffranchi’s brace. Slater’s 95-metre second try was exceptional in an exhibition second half that relegated English belief to the drawing-board.
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