Simon Barnes: Analysis
Win tickets to the ATP finals
So long as there are women around, there will be men making titanic bloody fools of themselves. That is true of every area of life, but it does seem to be doubly true of tennis. Justin Gimelstob’s stream of consciousness is merely the latest example: women’s tennis has a magnetic attraction for idiots.
Tennis has, of course, produced a fair number of bimbos in its time. Who can resist the temptation to play the bimbo when the chance is offered? Certainly, Andre Agassi, Pat Cash and Björn Borg never even tried, even if at least two of them grew out of it. The women’s game is full of women who seek the best of both worlds: combine the championships and the bikini shoots and count those dollars. Serena Williams, with pretensions to acting, once described herself as “a crossover star”.
Now I suppose I really should go for a full-on 1970s feminist rant here, and tell you that I see women tennis players purely as athletes, simply as shot-makers, and that I judge a woman tennis player entirely on her forehands and backhands, and so does everybody else bar a few dinosaurs.
But that would pose the question of why, if that is the case, female stars work so hard to be gorgeous as well as brilliant. Maria Sharapova won Wimbledon in a nightie; this year she was playing in a fashion garment apparently based on a “tuxedo”. Her second-round opponent, the unglamorous hard-hitting Alla Kudryavtseva, was inspired to beat her because “I didn't like her outfit”. Meanwhile, Williams plays on in a dress designed to give stunning views of her strategic high ground, while Ana Ivanovic is having to fight off sponsors while still struggling to establish herself as a champion for the long haul. She went out yesterday, overwhelmed by her own glamour.
Wimbledon is a juggernaut that crushes its too-fervent worshippers as it rolls by. This year’s beguiling and unpredictable women’s competition continues. The Williams sisters, Serena and Venus, are looking good while the weight of numbers comes from Russia and Eastern Europe. We’re cooking up nicely here.
The fact is that women’s tennis is great sport, but sport is never pure and rarely simple. After all, tennis first gained its popularity because young gentlemen and young ladies could play it unchaperoned and, ever since, tennis has been the world’s sexiest sport. Anyone who saw the women screaming for the latest plucky Brit, Chris Eaton, could testify to that. No question: women’s tennis is in great shape: and there will be another bloody fool along to tell you different before long.
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