These days, it’s trendier to book into a swanky country-house hotel for the weekend than to jet off to New York. Standards are high and competition is fierce. This month, things have got even more interesting, with the arrival of the most eagerly anticipated newcomer in years – Luton Hoo. And we were given an exclusive first look.

This is one of Britain’s most architecturally important buildings: a Grade I-listed Robert Adam stately home set in 1,000 acres of Capability Brown’d Bedfordshire. Now a hefty £60m has been lavished on refurbishment, and it has opened as a five-star hotel.

There’s not a trace of chic, minimalist or funky decor to be found anywhere in its 144 bedrooms. It’s 100% Edwardian – which is the polite way of saying it’s veeeery chintzy. Sounds ghastly, but walk under the Corinthian columns of Luton Hoo’s portico and into its Grand Hall, and you’ll see that here it makes sense. The ceiling soars to 30ft, shafts of sunshine pour through the ornate skylight and the plasterwork is like sculpted ice cream – so, even though the fabrics clash like cymbals, and there are literally tassels on the tassels, I couldn’t help but be impressed. It is properly, breathtakingly grand.

The style harks back to the turn of the 20th century, when the mining magnate Sir Julius Wernher, then the richest man in England, commissioned the architects Mewes & Davis to remodel his home. They were the brains behind The Ritz, and the two properties share several keynotes: stunning sweeps of staircase, magnificent mirrored panelling and endless, excessive opulence. Wernher spent £300,000 on a Versailles-like orgy of pink, grey and white marble for the dining room. It’s a shame today’s kitchen doesn’t rise to its majesty (the food is disappointing and overpriced). Fill up instead on afternoon tea in the Drawing Room, a gilded neoclassical fancy overlooking a fountain-filled garden. You might recognise it from Four Weddings and a Funeral – it was the backdrop for the second marriage.

As for the bedrooms, royalists may favour Elizabeth (where the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh honeymooned), while for romantics it’s Lady Zia, which has the best parkland vistas. All have original features and are large enough to land a plane in.

Which brings me to the serious drawback – Luton airport. It began life as the house’s private airstrip, and is only two miles away. It’s not so bad indoors, but the endless air traffic does detract from a crunchy stroll along the estate’s gravel paths.

Aviation may be beyond the hotel’s control, but the decoration of the newly built Parkland and Flower Garden wings was not. Why stay traditional here? These rooms don’t have the grand dimensions to take on those tassels and twee patterns, and consequently feel depressingly dated. I’d only stay in the Mansion, whose 35 historic, time-warp rooms persuaded me that there is a place for chintz other than in the skip behind an Ikea warehouse.

01582 734437, www.lutonhoo.com; standard doubles from £275, B&B; Mansion doubles from £325, B&B

— LUTON HOO is as grand as they come, but it won’t suit everyone – so which is the country bolt hole for you? Here’s our pick of the best rural retreats in Britain and Ireland, with something to suit all tastes.

FOR FAMILIES

1 WATERGATE BAY, Cornwall

Granted, breakfast is a sea of highchairs and mutilated rusks, but there’s something about the surfer-cool design that stifles the urge for any sane person (parent or not) to run screaming. Brothers Will and Henry Ashworth have wrestled this Victorian mansion into a 21st-century retreat for style-conscious families, right down to the kids’ wind-down movies, so parents can eat supper in peace. Bedrooms have a maritime breeziness; the Living Space is unlikely to be bettered as a spot for perfecting a cappuccino moustache; and, in a marketing masterstroke, the Ashworths have bagged the Cornish branch of Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen.

01637 860543, www.watergatebay.co.uk; doubles from £90, B&B

2 CALCOT MANOR, Cotswolds

Weekends away demand “Where did the time go?” pub lunches – which is one reason we rate Calcot. At the rustic Gumstool Inn, on site, both parents can sup real ales, toast their toes by the fire and browse the papers just yards from the dedicated family room in a cosily converted barn. The hotel has a positively Italian attitude to offspring, with an Ofsted-registered crèche (sadly, it’s not free). The pub grub is great, and the airy, elegant Conservatory does posher nosh. Pity the surrounding countryside isn’t prettier, though.

01666 890391, www.calcotmanor.co.uk; doubles from £205, B&B

3 GLENEAGLES, Perthshire

Don’t dismiss the stately, G8ly Gleneagles as a stuffy children-should-be-seen-and-not-heard anachronism. It’s newly family-friendly, offering two hours of free childcare daily and an impressive Kids Zone, with PlayStations, karaoke and off-road driving in cool, quarter-size Land Rover replicas. And consider this: it’s only a 5½hour train ride from King’s Cross to Gleneagles’s own station, with returns from £30. Airports? Pah.

0800 389 3737, www.gleneagles.com; doubles from £225, B&B

FOR ADULTS

4 SEAHAM HALL, Co Durham

Seaham town is no great shakes, but no matter, because Durham is close by – and in any case, for an outrageously indulgent experience, you can spend all day in the excellent spa. Snooze by the ozone-cleansed hydrotherapy pool, flick through the glossies on the woodland terrace or bob between the saunas, steam rooms and ice pools. Definitely book treatments: these therapists actually look at your skin, rather than robotically applying products. Bedrooms are spacious, though the contemporary decor tends to the cautious. The restaurant, however, is Blumenthally good and has the northeast’s only Michelin star.

0191 516 1400, www.seaham-hall.com; doubles from £225, B&B

5 HOTEL ENDSLEIGH, Devon

If you swooned over the BBC’s adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, pack smelling salts for your first sight of this Regency dream. Tucked into a nook above the trout-rich Tamar, it’s fairy-tale cute, with a rose-strewn terrace, hand-painted wallpapers and vast fireplaces with built-in stone seats. There’s no finer setting for a proposal than over a champagne picnic in its magical, mossy, Grade I-listed 108 acres. And 2008 is a leap year, girls.

01822 870000, www.hotelendsleigh.com; doubles from £200, B&B

6 CHEWTON GLEN, Hampshire

This is Land of Hope and Glory in bricks and mortar: plush, portraited public rooms, croquet on the lawn and earl grey served in silver pots. A discreet face-lift has introduced contemporary styling and impressive technical wizardry (although the hidden cameras, monitored by waiters to ensure you never wait for service in the bar, are a bit spooky). We’re not huge fans of the spa, but approve of its link-up with the Alist facialist Linda Meredith, who keeps Madonna and Sadie Frost aglow. And the strict no-tipping policy is a relief – otherwise, you’d never believe the ultra-helpful staff weren’t after a reward.

01425 282212, www.chewtonglen.com; doubles from £295, room-only

FOR FOODIES

7 GIDLEIGH PARK, Dartmoor

Ever eaten in an award-winning restaurant and thought, “I could cook this”? Never at Gidleigh. Every modern European dish is astonishingly unachievable, unless you’re in possession of two Michelin stars, like its brilliant chef, Michael Caines. Service can be stiff, but that’s part of the hotel’s traditionally proper personality; and the decor has been given a much-needed hit of glamour. I just wish that dinner weren’t incorporated in the room rate. Two nights of such fine dining borders on Creosotery, even if you have yomped over Dartmoor.

01647 432367, www.gidleigh.com; doubles from £440, half-board

8 GILPIN LODGE, Lake District

There’s a refreshing respect for guests at this family-run Edwardian manor house – it doesn’t accept weddings or conferences (so no feeling like a gate-crasher when a large party descends on the bar). The decor in the main house veers towards chintzy, but the garden suites have sexy 21st-century furnishings and private decks with hot tubs. The Michelin-starred food ticks all the food-mile and seasonal boxes. Chris Meredith won a Relais & Châteaux 2007 Rising Chef trophy, and is definitely one to watch.

01539 488818, www.gilpinlodge.co.uk; doubles from £250, half-board

9 THE MILL RESTAURANT, Co Donegal

True foodies won’t mind that the decor at this Georgian house, outside the Atlantic-battered village of Dunfanaghy, is decidedly so whatish – shower curtains over the baths, TVs on wall brackets. Your eyes will be on the amazing seafood, such as the upside-down fish pie, made with lobster and crabs collected from the wild seas and wind-whipped beaches. Best of all, three courses cost just £28.

00 353 74 913 6985, www.themillrestaurant.com; doubles from £68, B&B

FOR VALUE

10 BOSKERRIS HOTEL, Cornwall

St Ives exudes riviera glamour: a tumble of whitewashed cottages around a boat-bobbing harbour, and a clarity of light that has tantalised artists. Just out of town, the Boskerris echoes that elusive quality, with lots of white walls, white furnishings and white-shell chandeliers. It also packs some heavy-duty literary cachet: from its terrace, you can see Godrevy lighthouse, the one that inspired Virginia Woolf.

01736 795295, www.boskerrishotel.co.uk; doubles from £85, B&B

11 THE BULL, Dorset

This revitalised coaching inn could be accused of valuing style over substance, but its charms outweigh occasional lapses in service. Dinner is seasonal and scrumptious (locals such as Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall could be at the next table), and its clubby bar is excuse enough for a hangover. Borrow the owners’ dog for a bracing walk along the Jurassic coast.

01308 422878, www.thebullhotel.co.uk; doubles from £70, B&B

12 THE NEW WHITE LION, West Wales

Next year’s biopic of Dylan Thomas, starring Matthew Rhys, Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller, should turn the spotlight on Wales. The New White Lion is in the Brecon Beacons (miles from Cardigan Bay, where the film was shot), but let’s not be picky – this Grade II-listed hotel is chic enough for Hollywood stars. The rooms blend flamboyant fabrics with Welsh stone, the celebrity chef TomAikens gave the kitchen a thumbs up, and Thomas would surely have approved of poetry recitals in its lounge – and the honesty bar.

01550 720685, www.newwhitelion.co.uk; doubles from £80, B&B