IS YOUR expression sufficiently “neutral”? Well, it had better be or you won’t get a passport under stringent new security-conscious photo regulations issued by the UK Passport Service this September which have already resulted in hundreds of knockbacks: including mine.

There are 17 — yes, 17 (see page 2) — criteria listed in the letter I was sent with the rejected photos. The one that caught my eye said my photo must be “taken with a neutral expression (that is without smiling or frowning and with the mouth closed)”.

My application, which included a picture that made me look vaguely human, was apparently not “neutral enough”. The top of my head also “appeared to be too low in the photograph”, and my eyes, which had wisps of fringe over the eyebrows, “were not clearly visible . . . please ensure hair does not hide or partly hide the eyes”.

My husband’s photo, submitted at the same time, was also turned down: on the basis that his head was “too big”. Another rule says that the face should cover 65-75 per cent of the photograph; no more, no less.

What was particularly galling was that we had taken the applications to the local post office, which has a fast-track service costing £7 each. After running his slide rule over the pictures the man at the counter had pronounced them fine .

I read through the rest of the new regs. Another rule is to avoid sending photos on the wrong sort of paper: pictures must not be printed on paper that is “watermarked or embossed”. They must also be against a background that is sufficiently white; must neither be “too light” nor “too dark”; and must have shadow-free backgrounds.

You must also, rather more reasonably, not have any toys, dummies, or other people visible in the picture — though they didn’t specify what type of dummies they had in mind. Members of staff who drew up these regulations, possibly? More problematic for the wearer of glasses is that they must leave your eyes “clearly visible”, without reflections from glasses and without the frames covering the eyes. So if you have thick-rimmed glasses you have to take them off and squint or buy a new pair.

Costs mounted. We have spent £119 for the two of us — £42 each on the applications, £7 each on the post office fast-track and a total of £21 on photos.

The cost of the latter grew because the machine at our station left a large space at the top of the photo. It also did not produce identical photos, contravening another rule.

A spokeswoman for the UK Passport Service, which has also rejected pictures of babies’ faces for being “too shiny”, said the tough new rules are designed to keep the UK in line with United States passport regulations, which aim to crack down on fraud: “We don’t want people to turn up in the States and to be told they have too much hair covering their face, or that their picture is blurred — and then be refused entry.”

We wouldn’t want that either, so we have resubmitted photographs and I am crossing my fingers they won’t be rejected on the grounds that I’m wearing the wrong-coloured jumper or that my roots are showing. And heaven forbid I look too jolly or happy — no longer advisable for anyone dealing with passport agencies, here or abroad.

Page 2: rejection reasons, 17 rules and passport costs()

Rejection slips

“My baby was too shiny”
Sarah Linton, London

“There was a slight shine on my glasses”
Lesley Bright, via e-mail

“One ear was covered by my hair”
Caroline Mair, London

“My head was too small!”
—Name and address supplied

Have you had a nightmare with your passport photo? Tell us at www.timesonline.co.uk/yoursay.

The 17 commandments . . .

Your face must be uncovered.

Details: Downloadable leaflets are available from post offices or www.passport.gov.uk.

. . . and the final damage

ADULTS (aged 16 or over)

£89 same day, via passport office, by appointment.

CHILDREN

£71 same day, via passport office, by appointment.

WHAT IT’S GOING TO COST NEXT YEAR?

Biometric passports are being introduced next February — expected £60 minimum.

Details: UK Passport Service (0870 521 0410, www.passport.gov.uk).