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THERE aren’t many people who can claim to have shared a bed with Mariah Carey, Mick Jagger, and Diana Princess of Wales. Like me, they have all stayed in Bali Hi, one of three “cottages” on Necker, Richard Branson’s very own Caribbean island. Hugh Grant must want to sleep in the same bed as me because he will be spending new year on Necker. Unfortunately with Jemima Khan.
The huge, raised four-poster on the first floor of Bali Hi has spectacular views back across the British Virgin Islands chain. Couples on romantic getaways often request it be strewn with rose petals. The tiny attic is lined with cushions and mattresses: a sort of 1,001 nights boudoir.
Bali Hi’s enormous kitchen and dining area has a table that easily sits 20. It is divided from the palatial semi open-air lounge by a little stream that feeds the private pool.
A few feet beyond Bali Hi, perched right above the ocean, is Bali Cliff, a more intimate yet exposed space: it has no front wall. Wake up here and there is no glass between your bed and the sea view.
It’s the same deal downstairs in the bathroom; the lavatory and shower look directly across the water and therefore it is quite likely that boats that come snooping around the island have caught a glimpse of some of the world’s most famous backsides. Demi Moore’s, Bruce Willis’s, or Robert de Niro’s perhaps, for they, too, are Neckerati.
The third cottage, Bali Lo, or Bali Bottom as I like to call it, is the most isolated, situated down in a dip farther down the track. It suited Bill Gates right down to the ground.
Lesser mortals are more likely to find themselves in the ten-bedroom main house, the first property that Branson built on Necker, started in 1982. His brief to the architect was something in Balinese style, adapted for the Caribbean. It took three years to build and has a vast master bedroom for the Bransons.
This year the Virgin king has spent 20 weeks on the scrub-covered 74-acre lump of rock he bought in the 1970s for £180,000. The last estimate, in 2001, valued it at £60 million.
Much of the furniture is Balinese. Vast dark wood sofas upholstered in white are scattered with richly coloured silk cushions; carved wooden boxes adorn enormous tables. Inside is thick, creamy notepaper and envelopes or big fat cigars.
The island is like a luxurious summer camp for grown-ups. Slackers can lie on white sandy beaches and swim in the sea or in one of the infinity pools. They can stroll along the paths that criss-cross the estate and admire the exotic flora and fauna — frangipani and hibiscus, hermit crabs in pink and purple conical shells, strange cylindrical cacti that loom up out of the undergrowth. The shore is rimmed with exquisite shells and coral, and about 150 metres off Turtle Beach, favourite spot for sunset weddings, is a spectacular coral reef that is home to the kind of fish I’ve only ever seen in a tank. There’s even a floating trampoline.
Too energetic? Bliss out in the spa. Too tame? Watersports and tennis are on tap; diving can be arranged. Those who enjoy physical activity of a different kind can indulge in discreet little wooden huts on stilts — aka love shacks.
If you fall for the charms of the chef Steve Hitchings’s cooking, you’ll need a bit of a workout. His signature dish is baked fillet of miso-soaked Chilean seabass, baby bok choy, Asian vegetables and saffron beurre blanc.
Does anyone turn their nose up at Steve’s suggestions and ask for roast dinners? Yes: Richard Branson. Sunday lunch, when he is in residence, is a very traditional affair.
One of the things that distinguishes a job on Necker from other posh posts is that all 12 resident staff meet the guests and join in the fun. That includes watching the rapper Ice-T, flown in to perform on a floating stage at the request of 15 wealthy Russians who took the whole island for the week.
You couldn’t make it up? But that’s the point about Necker, “the island where anything is possible”: you can.
Need to know
Getting there: Hilly Janes travelled with Limited Edition by Virgin (020-8600 0430, www.virgin.com/limitededition). The island can be hired exclusively. There are three bands of costs: 1-14 people pay £13,888 a day; 15-20 people £17,500 a day; 21-26 people £22,222 a day. Prices include boat transfers from Tortola to Necker, meals, and drinks but not flights. Virgin Atlantic (0870 5747747, www.virgin.com/atlantic) offers direct flights from Gatwick to Antigua, and flights to Tortola on Liat Airlines, from £712 return.
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