More ideas in our Egypt Travel Special

I’m breathing some of the most expensive oxygen on earth. Each cool, dehumidified gulp costs about £10, a figure that could induce a fit of coughing and spluttering if the seconds weren’t so ludicrously precious.

I’m also transfixed by some of the world’s most exquisite artwork. Nefertari’s tomb – £3,126 for ten minutes’ access – may be more than 3,000 years old, but its riot of hieroglyphics appears untainted by age. The seriously foxy queen with Liz Taylor eyes and an addiction to transparent maxidresses rises from the subterranean walls in dazzling Technicolor.

Of course, you could cut the cost of your intimate royal audience, offered as an add-on to the usual Nile cruise and archaeological tour, by sharing your air. Ancient Egypt’s most beautiful tomb can accommodate groups, so a couple could enter the hallowed earth for £1,563. Cheaper, but still no bargain burial basement.

The visit is one of Abercombie & Kent’s “life-changing, money no object” experiences, partly targeted at bonus-happy City traders.

The tomb of Nefertari, favourite wife of Rameses II, promised to be something special. Having littered the country with monuments to his own greatness, Rameses – “the world’s greatest egomaniac”, according to our Egyptologist guide, Aki – wasn’t going to short-change his wife.

“You think that was good?” asked Aki, as we drove away from Giza’s pyramids. “Nefertari’s tomb is so much better. It’s really beautiful and there’s no one else around. I’m so excited I’m wetting myself.”

The part-time archaeologist with a startling turn of phrase isn’t alone. When the queen’s tomb reopened in 1995 after a £3.9 million conservation project, only 150 visitors were allowed in each day. “It would open at 6am,” Aki recalled. “If you weren’t in the queue by 6.03, you were too late. We had people crying, going into fits and screaming.” By 2000, Nefertari hysteria had closed the tomb – except to those with the contacts and cash.

You do? Then an internal flight to Luxor, followed by a short drive across the Nile brings you the traditional funerary West Bank. We passed discs of bread rising in the sun and fields of mango, sweet banana and sugar cane before picking up an official from the Department of Antiquities. He accompanied us into the Valley of the Queens, its sun-burnished ridge outlined against the desert sky.

This was no ordinary park and view. A yomp over a few hundred metres and we were greeted by a guard with an AK47 alongside Sheik Abdel Raieem, the West Bank Head of Security. Twenty steps down and the iron door worthy of a bank vault was slowly opened. Welcome to Nefertari’s world.

I was prepared to be impressed, but my first sight induced a £40 gasp. Every square inch was splattered with vibrant images. The ceiling had mutated into the night sky, speckled with gold stars, while the walls heaved under the weight of cobras, jackals, sacrificial bulls, dung beetles and jewellery.

The queen’s body, like her treasures, was long gone. Ancient tomb robbers cut her mummy’s wrap to steal the jewellery, causing instant decay. But her image was everywhere, resplendent in the see-through white linen number that revealed her magnificent pins. She’s smiling, dancing and playing board games, all part of the happy vibe that has added to the tomb’s fame.

“I can’t get enough of her,” said Aki, who appeared to have developed a major crush. “Look at the gorgeous arms, the face I could write books about. She’s just so beautiful.”

With cameras banned, it was a visit for the memory, not the memory card. We emerged blinking into the sun to be met by hawkers selling books and carvings. I gave into the spectacularly persistent Muhammad, who flogged me a carved stone tablet. It portrayed Nefertari wearing a leopard-print dress she wouldn’t have been seen in dead – or alive.

Out of the desert heat, Aki happily justified the tomb’s hefty price tag, saying that the funds from Nefertari helped to support conservation in decaying churches and mosques.

The tomb’s visitors aren’t just rich, he said, but also well-informed and passionate about Egypt’s history. “They aren’t hooligans. They don’t push, shove, touch and damage the art.” He obviously hasn’t met too many City traders. But it’s a fair point. Most testosterone-fuelled young brokers would prefer to blow their bonus on sipping Cristal from a Russian supermodel's navel, an experience presently unavailable from A&K.

So was it life-changing? Well I didn’t have the spiritual experience of two of Aki’s previous clients who, moved to tears by the tomb’s beauty, had to be forcibly ejected. But if I won the lottery, or received an unexpected inheritance, I wouldn’t hesitate to book a second date.

Need to know

Ian Belcher travelled with Abercrombie & Kent (0845 6182213, www.abercrombiekent.co.uk), whose Nile in Style package starts at £1,531pp (two sharing), including return BA flights from London and internal flights, four nights’ five-star B&B and two half-days’ sightseeing in Cairo, plus a three-night Nile cruise. Private guides cost £755 and entry to Nefertari’s tomb is £3,126 per party (usually couples).

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