In stark contrast to the tumult of the modern city, Coptic Cairo is a hushed and ecclesiastical quarter in the southern suburbs, walled off from the rest of the capital and built on the ruins of Roman Babylon. It’s home to the city’s oldest Christian place of worship – the ninth-century Hanging Church, an ornately decorated, icon-heavy beauty. Best way to get there is on the cheap and efficient metro: alight at Mar Girgis. The enclave is full of curious ancient churches, sleepy monasteries and bearded, muttering monks, obliviously counting the rosary.

For Cleopatras

Even if you’re not a spa person, a bout of de-stressing is a necessity in Cairo. At Four Seasons Cairo at The First Residence (00 202 3573 1212, www.fourseasons.com/cairofr; £65 for a day spa pass) you can get your history kick at the same time, by bathing Cleopatra-style. After being immersed in milk and covered with rose petals, you’ll get a ‘pharaonic all-body massage’. It’s not quite as saucy as it sounds – more of a tonifying rub-down – but you’ll feel suitably regal afterwards.

If you’re searching for more scenic delights, take the bus to Benha (from Koliet el-Zeraa metro). This sleepy city, 48km north of Cairo, on the banks of the Nile, is known for producing honey, grapes and oranges, and the journey to get there meanders through cotton and rose fields. It’s also a five-minute taxi ride from Athribis, the ancient capital of Lower Egypt, still largely unexcavated save for the littered remains of a few temples.

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The great Khan al-Khalili in the old town is one of the oldest souks in the Levant, selling everything from jars of cinnamon to second-hand donkeys, at makeshift stalls shaded by brightly coloured canopies. Of course, carpets are everywhere – but you can also pick up delicate Ramadan lanterns, made by Coptic craftsmen from iron and glass.

The neighbourhood of Zamalek (metro stop Opera), on the river island of Gezira, is the Chelsea of Cairo: it’s a posh and leafy neighbourhood, with plenty of decent restaurants and street cafes, and a relaxed headscarf policy. It makes the perfect setting for those Nile-side ambles on balmy evenings.

When the city gets too sweaty, take to the river on a dinner cruise for some cool air. Be prepared: most put on belly-dancing, and you may have to join in. But the Nile Peking (catch it from Corniche el Nil) is an exceptionally pretty vessel rumoured to be the boat used in Death On The Nile. It now has an incongruous Chinese theme, which means swinging lanterns, fresh seafood and a dearth of whirling dervishes.

£10 buys you: A selection of handblown glass ornaments made by Copts, from Khan al-Khalili. Exquisite. £100 buys you: The finest Egyptian cotton bedlinen from any mall – it’s not cheap, but you’ll have a lifetime of deep and blissful sleep. WALL I NEVER: Napoleon, invading in 1798, planned to dismantle the Pyramids and use the stone to encircle France with a three-metre-tall, 30cm-thick wall. CAR HA: Cairenes like to make ironic comments about ‘rush hour’. It’s a joke – the traffic is perpetually thick and never rushes. TAKE NOTE: Umm Kulthum, favourite singer of 20th-century Cairo, is still regarded as the finest of the Egyptian chanteuses. Buy tapes – sheer atmosphere for cold nights at home.

WHERE TO STAY

No expense spared

Four Seasons Cairo at The First Residence, 35 Sharia al-Giza (00 202 3573 1212, www.fourseasons.com/cairofr). The city has two Four Seasons hotels: the gleaming high-rise at Nile Plaza, and this, the original, on the west bank (handy for the Pyramids). Set in one of twin Arab-post-modernist towers, it has a roof pool with an alfresco Lebanese restaurant – a real Cairo oasis – and slightly French-imperial-styled rooms, with fume-veiled Giza views from higher balconies. Doubles from £220, room only.

Mena House Oberoi, Pyramids’ Road, Giza (00800 1234 0101, www.oberoimenahouse.com). Grand old dame of Cairo hotels, the lovable Mena has a sumptuous location, mere metres from the Pyramids. Churchill once stayed here, while he was conferring with Roosevelt. It’s said he drank a bottle of whisky and read a chapter of the Koran every night. The gardens are magnificent, too. Doubles from £120, room only.

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