An excellent decision, as we realised when we claimed soft beds at dusk. So we ordered a celebratory bottle of red wine to go with our steak dinner. Under normal circumstances, it would have been the first of several, but we were all too tired to finish it. If you ever fancy 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep, then go rowing.

Day two took us past Pangbourne, once home to Kenneth Grahame, along reaches of river largely unchanged since he described them. Nowadays it would be impossible to pick Toad Hall out from ranks of similarly opulent Victorian and Edwardian mansions, their velvet lawns framed by weeping willows, but long stretches revealed nothing beyond the timeless countryside. In the absence of buildings, swans glided by as if aware of royal status, while herons stood immobile, awaiting the moment to claim their dinner.

There was no room at the Bull Inn in Sonning, our hoped-for stopover for the second night, so we braced ourselves for a genuine Victorian camping experience

in the manner of Jerome K. Jerome and his companions, George and Harris, in Three Men in a Boat. When he wrote the comic classic in 1889, the author was very specific about the sleeping procedure. ‘You took five iron arches, like gigantic croquet hoops, and fitted them up over the boat, and then stretched the canvas over them, and fastened it down.’ OK. We claimed a patch of grass by the bridge and set the skiff up as described, pitching overspill tents for those who quailed at the thought of three snorers in a boat. Then we headed for supper at the Bull, a traditional hostelry warmly – and justifiably – endorsed by Jerome.

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The next morning, my fellow travellers whinged all the way to the breakfast cafe, but I have no complaints about my night under canvas. Let them book early B&B reservations for future expeditions: I’ll be out there in the boat, rocked into dreamless sleep by the easy flow of the river.

And so to Henley, crammed to the gills on the Saturday of Regatta week. As we got nearer, the river filled up with racing shells powered by the Lycra-clad elite of the rowing world. Serious gin palaces jostled for mooring space on the banks, and every boater-wearing George, Harris or Jerome who could beg, borrow or steal a dinghy was out there strutting his stuff.

Jenny, back on tiller duty with a chilly expert’s gleam in her eye, threatened Mike and me with eternal damnation should there be a scratch on anyone else’s paint. Nervously, we ducked and dived among the rival craft, finally tying up triumphantly near the main bridge into town. Much easier than parking a car, as it turned out, although forcing a passage to the nearest bar through all the braying Ruperts and Jeremys proved a sterner test.

No, we didn’t sleep under canvas. After a night on the town, we awoke to the sobering realisation that Tom would turn up to reclaim his boats later that afternoon. No matter. We still had our guest cameo to look forward to. As the Regatta reached its climax, Mike and I rowed down the official course in parallel track with the gold-medal- winning Olympians contesting the finals. Crowds in suits and posh frocks applauded wildly from the tented bars on the banks. As our blades dipped in perfect unison, we knew the cheers could only be for us.

Travel brief

Thames Skiff Hire (07767 385056 or 01932 232433, www.skiffhire.com) rents vessels from its base in Walton-on-Thames from April to September (at other times boats can be hired under supervision). Four days from £310; six days, £350 (prices are for three people). Packages are available for two or more boats for larger groups. Variable charges for delivery at slipways on the Thames as far as Lechlade, the starting point for a 214km row downstream that takes a week.

FURTHER INFORMATION

The Henley Royal Regatta takes place July 2-6 2008 (01491 572153, www.hrr.co.uk).

For more details, see www.visitthames.co.uk.

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