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A series of photographs in the hotel cocktail bar (The Midden) traces the progress of the development from the 1960s, when Carlton Walker bought up some decaying 18th-century farmhouse dwellings and started a modest restaurant and country hotel. Four decades later it’s a full resort spa and conference centre that somehow preserves a cute, cobbled village square at its heart.
This is a part of England generally neglected by those in search of aesthetic grandeur. Those grim post-industrial towns beginning with B — Bolton, Blackburn, Burnley and, er, Wigan — can be off-putting, all urban blight, pound shops and minicab offices, with accents you need decades of watching Coronation Street to decipher. Just a few miles east towards the hills, though, you are into rolling moorland, brisk breezes bouncing back off the Pennines, and discreetly preserved rural villages with comfortable pubs.
One of the Last Drop’s assets is the variety of paths heading directly off that cobbled square into the countryside. Head west out of the hotel on a path past the Turton golf course, gain a little height as the path curves back eastwards and after half-an-hour or so you find yourself gazing in bemusement at the multi-period folly of Turton Tower. This architectural mess of medieval, Tudor and 18th-century adornments apparently started life as a fortification to discourage intrepid (or just lost) Scottish raiders who ventured this far south. Now it sells them a nice cup of tea.
From here paths lead through the scenic forestry of the Jumbles country park, alongside the reservoir, to emerge by an unusual old mill settlement.
Chapeltown seems like a ghost village shrouded in silence, every other one of its pretty terraced cottages up for sale. The Chetham Arms offers consoling pub grub, but it’s an eerie place. Return over high moorland, with 360-degree views over a landscape that, while never as spectacular as the Lakes, has a timeless rural charm.
A short drive northeast takes you to the very English escape of the Ribble valley, an area increasingly aware of its tourist potential. The author JRR Tolkien, always a sad observer of the rapid industrialisation of rural England (his Saruman was essentially just a northern mill-owner with a hippie hairstyle), reputedly drew inspiration for Middle-earth from this region and the well-preserved bucolic idyll of Stonyhurst.
A belated Tolkien trail has been established for hairy-toed fans, but you suspect the Lancastrians have a lot of catching up to do, seeing as the entire Kiwi economy floats on the country’s Tolkien income since Peter Jackson’s stodgy Lord of the Rings trilogy was filmed there.
You can see the hobbit connections pretty clearly, though: unspoilt moorland is punctuated by pretty miniature villages untainted by the whiff of a burger chain or the impertinence of a branch of FCUK. The finest example might be Whalley, hemmed in by woodland, clustering around a 14th-century Cistercian abbey, on the banks of the River Calder.
Small parties of visitors mooch around the fishpond or have a civilised English afternoon tea with cream scones, the happy antithesis of mad-for-it Manchester just down the road. You can just imagine Tolkien cracking a grin and offering an approving commentary in one of his invented languages. Nearby, Clitheroe is an old provincial market town, unassuming and unpretentious, dominated by its castle and 12th-century Norman keep, still remarkably unscathed. Clitheroe has always been off the beaten track.
Back at the Last Drop, after a long day’s struggle with the flat vowels of merrie England, you can dine in the salubrious, beamed Carriages restaurant (with a 19th-century coach fitted strikingly in one wall recess), or in the modern bistro/gastropub atmosphere of the Steakhouse. Carriages has a stylish and unpretentious à la carte menu with an accent on local organic produce wherever possible. The Steakhouse does exactly what it says on the tin, accompanying well-prepared slabs of meat with the usual chunky chips and simple salads; a variety of roasts are served up on a Sunday, drawing in plenty of locals from the neighbouring villages, disappointingly bereft of clogs, flat caps or whippets.
Afterwards you can head for the extensive Vital spa and gym complex and enjoy the spectacle of the northwest of England’s young businessmen trying to relax from their demanding careers as mobile-phone sales executives by pumping unfeasible amounts of iron or cranking up the treadmills until their faces turn a banknote shade of green. The more enlightened will leave the dumbbells alone, and take advantage of the hydro-pool and the steam rooms. In winter there is even the enticingly Finnish-style option of lounging in the outdoor section of the warm hydro-pool, being gently massaged by the aqua-jets, while gazing out over clear moorland blanketed in snow. The sheep bleat back jealously.
Details: Virgin Trains (www.virgintrains.co.uk, 08457 222 333) has return tickets to Bolton from Edinburgh for £24 (choose two £12 Value Advance single tickets option on website), or £30 from Glasgow (two £15 single tickets). Virgin also runs nine daily services from Edinburgh to Preston with single fares from £9.50.
Macdonald Last Drop Village hotel and spa (www.macdonaldhotels.co.uk, 0870 194 2117) offers accommodation from £70 per room per night weekdays, and from £85 on Saturday nights. The price includes breakfast and is based on two sharing. www.ribblevalley.gov.uk
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