My husband looks doubtful. “Why the suitcase?” He has a point. I am going for two days to the first naturist B&B in Europe.

I normally find packing quite a trial; what to wear for dinner, for walks, even for lunch? This time it is easy — “nothing” is the answer to all the above questions. But one thing is worrying me: where to keep my notebook?

I arrive at Hylteberga gård, deep in the Swedish countryside, at about 6pm. I crane my neck to view the yellow farmhouse along the gravel road.

I scan the horizon, as if on an African safari, and I half expect to see naked people leaping through the cornfields like nymphs.

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Then I park and knock on the door. I am nervous; shamefully, still fully dressed. The advice on the internet was to leave all your clothes at the door. Should I have stripped off?

The door is opened by a man. He is wearing a grin, but also shorts and a shirt. His wife is behind him, also dressed. “Welcome to Hylteberga,” Steffen Brummer Pind says.

His wife, Eva, shakes my hand warmly. They show me to my room. En route we pass a man who, let’s say, hasn’t held back on the pies — a bit of a fatty — and he is naked.

The man looks away from the television and says hello. I try not to stare at his private parts, although my eyes are inextricably drawn. Luckily his bits are more or less hidden by his belly. It is a sad fact that naturist resorts seldom attract those to whom Nature has been kindest.

Dinner is at seven o’clock. Dress code: nothing. This is the first time I have undressed for dinner. At seven o’clock I slip out of my clothes and head to the dinner table wearing nothing but Chanel pink lip gloss.

Some standards must be upheld. The other guests are wearing clothes, but only on top: is this a new trend that I have missed?

Only Eva and Steffan are starkers. Before anyone notices, I dart back to my room and throw on a T-shirt, a cardigan and a pair of knickers; despite it being the middle of July it’s too cold to be naked, especially if I’m in a minority.

Joining us are a couple from Norway and a pair from Denmark. Clients at Hylteberga are so far almost exclusively from Scandinavia. “We did have a booking from England,” Steffen says.

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