You booze-cruisers. I’m surprised you don’t all die of shame. I mean, really:
you embark on an ocean-going vessel or international train, travel on or
under one of the most celebrated stretches of sea in the entire world,
arrive in a cultured foreign land — then buy cheap beer and come straight
home.
Would you go to the Taj Mahal and catch the bus back directly after the
poppadoms? Or fly to St Petersburg for a bottle of vodka? But secret doubts
persist, for the human soul is a crucible of contradictions. What you’re
whispering is: “We’d still quite like the cut-price French drink, though,
what with Christmas coming up, and Grandfather’s thirst for Baileys...”
Well, we have the answer. It is to transform the Calais booze cruise into a
short break. A simple overnighter will do. That way, you’re not flipping
across for cheap hooch. You’re going to spend some time in France, which
sounds a lot better.
And it is a lot better. Beyond Calais itself, the Pas-de-Calais region is
surprisingly lovely and studded with fine hotels. It’s proper France. Then,
when your stay is done and you’re homeward bound, you dart into Calais for
the booze — an afterthought, nothing more.
CHATEAU DE BEAULIEU
This is a strong start — a 17th-century chateau where the award-festooned chef
Marc Meurin recently transferred his hotel-restaurant operation.
It’s approached through parkland, and the outside looks austere. Inside,
though, the contemporary take on gracious living will please both your
design-student daughter and your ex-diplomat auntie. “Understated elegance,”
says the publicity, correctly. Then there’s the food. Meurin’s is the best
I’ve eaten in northern France. Here, he dishes up items such as
walnut-crusted wild sea bass in the gastronomic restaurant (about £80 à la
carte, or £40 for the three-course surprise menu), then loosens his stays in
the funkier Jardin d’Alice (from £18).
The place is 50 minutes from Calais, along the A26, exit 5. If you need to get
out, charming Béthune is just down the road.
Rue de Lillers, Busnes; 00 33-3 21 68 88 88,
www.lechateaudebeaulieu.fr; doubles from £100
CHATEAU TILQUES
Last time I swept up to this spot, my heart first rose at the 19th-century
gabled facade — then dropped like a brick.
Old Bentleys, Armstrong Siddeleys and similar machinery were scattered all
over the drive and car park. Sweet Jesus, an English vintage-car run.
The place would be braying. There’d be imbeciles in scarves, caps and — heaven
forbid — goggles. Too bad. I’d booked.
I went in. The car people were having aperitifs on the garden terrace, but
they were absolutely charming. Welcomed me to their midst as if I’d walked
in toting a starting handle.
This was astonishing, and I concluded that it was the effect of the
surroundings. Grand neo-Flemish style without, substantial period comfort
within, lovely grounds, and the prospect of splendid eating in the Vert
Mesnil restaurant in the stable block... it imposes civilised behaviour.
And, if it acts that way on vintage-car enthusiasts, imagine the effect on
normal people like yourselves.
Tilques is 30 minutes from Calais, along the A26, exit 3. Nearby St Omer has
the Musée Sandelin and a superb gothic cathedral.
Tilques, St Omer; 03 21 88 99 99, www.chateautilques.com; doubles
from £90
FERME DU VERT
Barely 25 minutes from Calais and 10 from the coast, you’re in deepest,
greenest farming France. Lost down a winding lane, the Ferme was indeed a
farm until the 1980s, when things got tough and the Bernard family turned it
into a hotel. The experience is of visiting bright, smart country cousins.
The venerable stone farmhouse and outbuildings form a truly satisfying
courtyard. It’s as peaceful as a pasture. And the restaurant is as country
restaurants should be — warm, light, welcoming — with a seasonal menu at
£18.50. Two Bernard brothers now run the hotel, but the parents haven’t
given up.
They operate chambres d’hôtes in a lovely 19th-century chateau, Le Beaucamp, a
couple of miles away. So, when the Ferme shuts for a month on December 15,
you may turn to them.
Le Vert, Wierre-Effroy; 03 21 87 67 00, www.fermeduvert.com; doubles
from £42. Le Beaucamp has doubles from £65 — visit www.lebeaucamp.com
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HOTEL ATLANTIC
The Atlantic doesn’t hide the fact that it’s by the seaside. Difficult, of
course, with a vast beach and the Channel out front. What I mean is that it
makes the most of it. The art-deco frontage has that look of permanent
impermanence required of real seaside resorts. And there’s a solid operation
behind. Alain Delpierre’s main Liégeoise restaurant has a swish of style and
ace seafood, with menus from £24. The brasserie offers more informal fare
(£11 for two courses). Service is four-star and friendly — and if the
outstanding views from the front rooms don’t get you up in the morning,
check your pulse. You may have died overnight.
Wimereux is 25 minutes along the coast road from Calais, past Escalles and
Ambleteuse.
Digue de Mer, Wimereux; 03 21 32 41 01,
www.hotelatlantic-delpierre.com; doubles from £55, but go for the
superior sea-view rooms, £88
ENCLOS DE L’EVECHE
Up the hill from the fishing port, Boulogne’s old town retains a surprising
sense of centuries. It’s a delight — and, by the church, so is the Enclos de
l’Evêché, one of the more interesting urban chambres d’hôtes in France.
Behind big doors, the 19th-century town house rises high and substantial round
a courtyard. Inside are the space, style and polished wood that the Boulogne
bourgeoisie obviously demanded. The rooms, though, are different — all
worked on local themes or people. Sounds suspicious, but it’s not.
My favourite is the Frères Coquelin room. The brothers were local-born actors,
so theatrical blues and golds swirl through the proceedings. Elsewhere,
there’s Egyptiana, botany and a room celebrating Desvres china. This is more
fun than you expect in a B&B. A lot more comfortable, too.
Another thing you don’t expect in a B&B is a good restaurant. The
owners, Pascaline and Thierry Humez, have, though, recently opened one, Les
Terrasses de l’Enclos, in a high-ceilinged reception room. The fish is
über-fresh and two courses start at £14.
Boulogne is 30 minutes down the A16 from Calais, a little longer (but
lovelier) by the coast road.
6 Rue Pressy, Boulogne; 03 91 90 05 90, www.enclosdeleveche.com; doubles
from £50, B&B
The booze bit
THERE ARE three principal zones. The best cash-and- carry warehouses are in ZA
Marcel Doret, east of town. There’s the bargain- basement EastEnders
(www.eastenders-calais.com) and Wine & Beer World
(www.wineandbeer.co.uk), the Calais arm of Majestic Wine. Almost next door,
the French-run Pérardel (www.perardel.com) has an excellent range of
appellation wines.
Across town, near the Eurotunnel terminal, the Cité Europe mall is home to
Carrefour (www.carrefour-calais.com), a temple of food and booze, and to
Tesco (www.tesco-france.com).
A couple of miles nearer Calais, ZA La Française has an Auchan
(www.auchancalais.com) — in the same league as Carrefour — Sainsbury’s
(www.sainsburyscalais.co.uk) and an Oddbins superstore
(www.oddbins-calais.com).
To avoid going insane, I’d concentrate on just one of these zones. To decide
which, check store websites for stock and prices. Some let you order in
advance, so all you have to do is pop in and pick the stuff up: a boon.
Getting there: ferries to Calais are run from Dover by SeaFrance (0870
443 1653, www.seafrance.co.uk) and P&O (0870 598 0333,
www.poferries.com); SpeedFerries (0870 220 0570, www.speedferries.com) also
has good overnight fares to Boulogne. Eurotunnel (0870 535 3535,
www.eurotunnel.co.uk) runs from Folkestone.
