Surprising news: the Channel, it appears, has narrowed, and the nearest crossing point seems to have moved 25 miles down the coast, from the grim industrial wasteland of Calais to the genteel seaside town of Boulogne-sur-Mer. The reason is not a shift in the earth’s crust, but a similarly seismic technological development called Norman Arrow.

Just launched by the French company LD Lines, the 368ft vessel is the world’s largest diesel-powered catamaran, but with the looks of a suburban self-storage depot, she’s not going to win any beauty contests. Essentially a steel box welded onto twin hulls, the Tasmanian-built bruiser is simply a huge car park with a single passenger deck on top.

It has a self-service cafe, a couple of bars, and 1,200 airline-style seats. The on-board retail experience is limited to a corner shop and you can’t even take a turn around the deck.

Yet, ugly as she is, Norman Arrow is one in the eye for her competitors, because she is astonishingly fast. Not as fast as the Eurotunnel, which gets you to the Continent in 35 minutes from £78 return, but considerably faster than a conventional ferry, on which the swiftest route has long been from Dover to Calais in an hour and a half. Norman Arrow, sailing from Dover to Boulogne, has trimmed that to 60 minutes.

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For rival ferry companies, it’s like getting into the pool with Rebecca Adlington. Norman Arrow pushes off from the quay, slides lithely from the Eastern Docks, sets her four 9,000kW MAN28/33 diesels to warp speed and disappears in a wall of spray. On board, all is smooth and silent, and your only impression of her turn of speed comes from the overhead monitors.

Venture onto the tiny outside stern deck, though, and it’s like crossing the M25 on a rocket-powered skateboard. A monstrous wake of churned-up white water attests to her power, and amid the roar of those four diesel engines, it becomes clear why you can’t take a bracing stroll around the ship. You’d get blown off.

So, if a leisurely cruise with full English is an important part of your holiday, don’t book Norman Arrow. You’ve barely got time to queue up for a croissant before she glides into the welcoming arms of handsome Boulogne-sur-Mer.

With Calais, the standard operating procedure is to drive off the ferry, take a deep breath and get the hell out of Dodge. Boulogne, with her manicured beach, chic boutiques and enchanting walled cathedral quarter, is a different story, and there’s a real risk that the head start you gained by disembarking half an hour nearer to almost everywhere in France will be lost to her distractions.

Once you’ve stocked up with vieux boulogne (reputed to be the world’s smelliest cheese) from Philippe Olivier’s fromagerie at 43 Rue Thiers (reputed to be France’s biggest), getting out of town is a breeze. LD Lines is the only ferry company serving Boulogne, and traffic in and out of the port is light.

Coming back was even more extraordinary. I joined the queue at 4.20pm and drove on board 20 minutes later. At 5pm sharp, we set sail, so to speak, and with a following wind made the crossing in 58 minutes. Readjusting my watch to UK time, I realised I’d arrived in England two minutes before I’d left France. That’s fast.

LD Lines (0844 576 8836, ldlines.com) runs four daily return crossings from Dover to Boulogne. Fares start at £24, one-way, for a car and four passengers, with day returns from £28

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