Equally, the skiffs are able to manoeuvre through vegetation (with a little help from a guide with a machete) that at first glance looks impenetrable, giving you access to lakes and tributaries that are very rarely visited by anyone other than local fishermen in hollowed-out logs.

And there are moments when it’s only the guides’ vast, unfailing knowledge that prevents you from believing you’ve discovered a lost world: like gawping at the rare hoatzin, a prehistoric oddity of a bird that has a punk hairdo and quite the most unfortunate digestive system that means it smells like gently warming manure (another, crueller, name for the poor love is the stinkbird); or when pondering the existence of the horned screamer, a triptych of a creature that flies like a vulture, runs like a dog and looks like a turkey.

The cruise begins, for those taking the full seven-day excursion, in Iquitos and heads down some of the Amazon’s many tributaries, such as the Yanallpa, Ucayali and Dorado rivers, towards the Pacaya Samiria National Reserve. The second largest reserve in Peru, it spans some 5m acres and is home to more than 100,000 people, who live in villages along the riverbank.

In one of these, Carocurahuayte, I visited the local pub, a wooden hut with a homemade bar in a corner. Watched carefully by a toothless old girl who smiled, gummily, at me, I tried the local firewater, made by soaking the bark of the azucar huayo tree in sugar-cane rum. The locals claim the bark has healing properties, but they’re lying. It took 20 minutes for me to be able to speak again. If that’s healing, God knows what they give to the terminally ill. I asked, breathlessly, if anyone actually liked the stuff. More gummy smiles. “No,” she said, as if it were the most stupid question in the world.

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Back on board and grasping a restorative jungle juice – made freshly that day, naturally – I looked out over the murky brown river water and across to the lush greens of the forest. There was a ripple, and another pink dolphin, easily distinguishable by its lack of a dorsal fin, popped up and popped down without so much as a wink. Unrequited love is the very worst kind, don’t you find?

— Paul Croughton travelled as a guest of Bales Worldwide (0845 057 0600, www.balesworldwide.com), which has a 12-day itinerary, including seven nights on board the M/V Aqua on a full-board basis, from £3,695pp, including three nights’ B&B in Lima, international and domestic flights. Or try Exsus (020 7292 5050, www.exsus.com), which has a week, full-board, plus two nights in Lima, flights and transfers, from £3,625pp. Aqua Expeditions (www.aquaexpeditions.com) also offers three- or four-day cruises from £990pp for a double cabin, including all food, but not flights or transfers

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