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The occupational hazards took Noel Massoud by surprise when he started work as
the general manager of the Emirates Palace Hotel a year ago. “I injured my
leg walking too much around the hotel,” he told me. “The distances are so
great, and you are walking on marble — I was in a wheelchair for two days.”
Guests need not worry: they can borrow a golf buggy, or even a Segway
motorised scooter, if they need help getting around the grounds of the
hotel, which stretches a kilometre from one end to the other. It opened last
spring on a mile-long sandy beach in Abu Dhabi, capital of the United Arab
Emirates (Dubai is another of the seven emirates). Viewed across the bay
from the Corniche in the city centre, the hotel’s pale pink sandstone bulk
and numerous domes — the central one is 60m (200ft) high, covering an atrium
big enough to contain a jumbo jet — loom out of the heat haze as though a
rich king, tired of the boring old steel and glass skyscrapers of the city,
wanted to create a fairytale castle.
Which is, sort of, what happened. The hotel is genuinely a palace, built by
the Government (at undisclosed cost, but there are rumours of £3 billion)
primarily to host conferences attended by the Gulf Cooperation Council’s
heads of state. Many hotels have more than its 394 rooms and suites, but few
have suites so opulent. Touring a Palace Suite, I ran out of superlatives.
The master bedroom could host a party for 100. There are marble steps up to
the baths. The plasma screen TV is 60in across and there are binoculars on
the bedside table to view it (OK, I made that bit up). The occasional tables
are actually rather frequent. And everything, down to the loo-roll holders,
is gold-plated.
But, like most visitors, I had one of the 302 standard rooms in the east and
west wings (colour scheme: gold), which was a modest size, had a balcony, a
generous bathroom and plenty of wardrobe space, free soft drinks, a desk and
a mere 50in TV. (This has a free, but utterly useless, internet connection,
so poorly designed and slow you want to throw the keyboard out of the window
— and the business centre has only two decent computers.)
Over three days I sampled several of the hotel’s dozen restaurants. Breakfast
at Le Ven- dôme was a lavish buffet, with excellent eggs cooked to order but
terrible coffee. I had observed the instructions not to wear open-toed shoes
— intended to stop people wearing flip-flops, but meaning even smart women’s
sandals are banned — so was slightly miffed to see another guest
contravening the dress code by eating breakfast in his tracksuit.
Dinner at Sayad seafood restaurant was the most sensational meal I had at the
hotel, including a sublime Alaskan king crab salad. My dish of tagliolini
with mixed seafood at Mezza-luna, the Italian restaurant, was also
delicious, but when I requested a glass of wine, the waiter poured a
vinegary liquid from an opened bottle. When I asked if it had been opened
the night before, he replied, quite seriously: “No madam, two nights ago.”
He was reluctant to open a fresh bottle, and kept trying to palm me off with
other opened bottles.
To work off the calories, as it was too hot to enjoy the outdoor pools and
water slides, I visited one of the two gyms and walked for miles along the
marble corridors exploring the hotel. On the reception floor is the atrium,
half a dozen restaurants, a smart café, a cigar bar and a row of boutiques.
Below is an avenue of palm trees, more restaurants, a banqueting hall for
2,500 and — tucked away so I nearly missed it — a theatre seating 1,200.
Despite all this, Abu Dhabi lags behind its glitzy neighbour, Dubai, in terms
of hotels and tourist attractions — Abu Dhabi’s tourist board was set up
only in 2004 — but it is fast catching up. Its airline, Etihad, launched
three years ago, flies to 35 destinations, and vast developments on Abu
Dhabi’s islands are under way. For example, by 2018, the island of Saadiyat,
east of the Corniche, will have 29 new hotels, two golf courses, three
marinas and a huge arts complex.
So the Emirates Palace is a pointer to the future, a showcase designed to
impress some of the world’s richest rulers, which explains its chest-puffing
size, and the VIP entrance — a sweeping driveway, not a hidden back door —
for celebrities and royalty. The hotel has undoubted curiosity value and the
beach and pools will be a major draw. But, with acres of marble and gilt,
escalators, shops and cafés, it’s hard to escape the feeling that you are
holidaying in an Arabian shopping mall.
Need to know
Getting there: Gulf Air (0870 7771717, www.gulfairco.com)
flies to Abu Dhabi via Muscat from £358 return. Etihad (0870 2417121,
www.etihadairways.com) has flights to Abu Dhabi from Gatwick, Heathrow and
Manchester from £384 return.
Staying: ITC Classics (01244 355527, www.itcclassics.co.uk)
offers five nights’ B&B at the Emirates Palace (www.emiratespalace.com),
with flights and transfers, from £968pp.
Further information: Abu Dhabi Tourism Authority (020-7201
6400).
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