In my experience, that is just about the best thing you can hear when you first encounter one of the most confusing, overwhelming, intoxicating cities on the planet. Marrakesh is a labyrinthine muddle of streets, courtyards, alleyways and cul-de-sacs, crammed with mopeds, taxis, street vendors and donkeys dragging carts stacked high with anything from car tyres to piles of fresh mint.

Below is a taste of what you will encounter in this life- affirming, heart-stopping city. It provides a way through the maze — if you are brave enough to go it alone.

KOUTOUBIA MOSQUE

First things first. Orientation. The Koutoubia Mosque is Marrakesh’s equivalent of the Eiffel Tower — at 70m (230ft) high, it is visible from almost all points in the city, and acts as a useful landmark if the walls start to close in. The mosque acts as a statuesque portal between ancient and modern; boulevard Mohammed V stretches northeast towards the new town, while the medieval Jemaa el Fna is only two minutes’ walk to the east.

JEMAA EL FNA

Stroll along the boulevard that leads east from the Koutoubia and suddenly the crowds pull back to reveal a wide, L-shaped space. The Jemma el Fna is legendary, but by day it is hard to understand why, with just a couple of lines of nut-sellers and the odd benign lunatic. Come back after 5pm, however, and the place seethes with life: food stalls, snake-charmers, medicine men, dancers, storytellers — the warm night air giving it the heady feel of some sort of Arabic Glastonbury.

Eat on the square by all means — the food is generally reliable. But if you want to watch the madness from a safe vantage point, head up to the terrace at the Café de France. It’s soft drinks only and the food is appalling, but the view of the square is unbeatable.

SOUKS

Heading north from the Jemaa el Fna, the streets quickly dive into the souks. At first these may seem a frenzied jumble of stalls selling everything from shoes to live chickens, but there is method in the madness, with different sections for different products. The best street to begin on is Rue Souq as-Smarrine, dominated by textile stalls and souvenir shops. It forks into two — head right if you’re looking for serious shopping: the leatherwork, babouches (slippers) and jewellery stalls all lie this way. Go left and you’re into the less touristy section with its spice stalls, and carpentry and blacksmith workshops.

If you want to buy anything, it is essential to haggle. Aim to pay 50 per cent of the first asking price, so start lower than that — it’s not unheard of to offer 30 per cent — and raise your offer slowly. Leather goods, ceramics, cedarwood boxes and textiles are all worth buying. The wrought- iron lamps, frames, wall hangings, and all the pseudo- antique objets can be more easily bought elsewhere.

NORTH MEDINA

The souks stop as abruptly as they begin: keep walking northwards and suddenly the dusty alleys are quiet and empty. Most of the “sights” are in the South Medina, so there are fewer tourists in this area — a recommendation in itself. The best strategy is to put your map away and simply wander. Look out for the dimly lit tailors’ shops, and the tiny cupboard-like studios that house an old man, a long, low seat and the sign of a key etched into the wooden doors. These are the medina’s estate agents.

SOUTH MEDINA

Leave the North Medina by taxi (insist that he puts on the meter) and ask to go to Place des Ferblantiers, which has the combined advantage of being central to the South Medina and the best place in town to buy ironwork. The square is edged with small studios selling lamps, wall-hangings, picture frames and mirrors — and bargaining is less welcome. Knock 10 per cent off the price they ask, but no more.

If you want to do only one morning’s sightseeing, the South Medina has everything you need to see: the stucco archways and painted ceilings of the Bahia Palace, the Saadian Tombs, and the imposing, ruined Badii Palace. Stroll down to the Kasbah, south of the Place des Ferblantiers, where tiny, squat shops and studios house tailors, television repairers and spice stalls. A foodmarket is held where the Rue de la Kasbah opens on to a small courtyard; wobbly carts holding slabs of meat and fish, bunches of mint and coriander spread on blankets.

If you love to shop, but hate haggling over prices, your final port of call should be Twizra on rue Bab Agnaou — three floors of jewellery, ceramics, furniture and babouches with no pressure-selling and as much mint tea as you can drink.

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