Eventually, bribery got the children into the car and we drove to Orihuela, where in 1488 los Reyes Catolicos held court, so there are a lot of churches and gothic, renaissance and baroque buildings. It’s a seven-year-old’s nightmare. The tourist office is housed in one of the best palaces. They were very surprised when we wandered in.

“Is Monday,” said the man. “Everything close.”

“What, all the churches?”

“Si.”

“The museum?”

“Si, of course.”

He gave me lots of leaflets. Matilda skipped.

“We’ll come back on Thursday,” I said.

“And have a big dinner,” said Janet as rebellion flickered.

We went back on Thursday evening and wandered round the churches. They are wonderful examples of Spanish ecclesiastical architecture — magnificently austere, with a forbiddingly restrained approach to ornamentation entirely at odds with the total lack of taste then lavished upon the fittings, models of the saints, altarpieces and all the rest of the Catholic paraphernalia. My favourite was Santiago Apostol, which has (“Look, kids!”) a terrific renaissance rethinking of a triumphal arch framing the presbytery. The Catalan gothic cathedral (Santa Iglesia Catedral del Salvador), no bigger than any of the other churches, has its moments, but I was still reeling from that arch, and besides, the big draw of the cathedral was not really the architecture but the museum, with its Velazquez.

Unfortunately, the museum turned out to be a low-ceilinged, airless, smelly room at the side of the cathedral. The Velazquez is a large, but very early work (I hope), showing the temptation of St Thomas Aquinas. Quite what he is being tempted by I wasn’t sure, and he still looked pretty saintly to me.

We stepped out to find somewhere for dinner. Of the two places recommended by the guidebook, one was an antiseptic hotel lobby, the other closed at five in August, and we could find no other restaurants. There is only so far you can walk in 36C heat with three children, so after a drink in a bar we drove home, feeling that there was something going on we hadn’t quite got to the bottom of.

I didn’t really care. If you go to Orihuela, go for Santiago Apostol and you won’t be disappointed. If you go to the Costa Blanca, get a car with good air conditioning, a good set of maps, and with a minimum of effort you can amaze yourself. Next time, though, I’m taking a more comprehensive restaurant guide.

• David Mills stayed as a guest of his Aunt Audrey and Uncle Roger

  Travel brief

  Getting there: Alicante, Murcia and Valencia are each served from more than a dozen UK airports, as well as Dublin. Airlines include BMI Baby (0871 224 0224, www.bmibaby.com), British Airways (0870 850 9850, www.ba.com), EasyJet (www.easyjet.com), Flyglobespan (0870 556 1522, www.flyglobespan.com), Iberia (0870 609 0500, www.iberia.com), Jet2 (0871 226 1737, www.jet2.com), Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) and Aer Lingus (0818 365000, www.aerlingus.com). For charters, try Travel Republic (0845 612 1747, www.travelrepublic.co.uk) or Flightline (0800 541541, www.flightline.co.uk).

  Getting around: Holiday Autos (0870 400 4461, www.holidayautos.co.uk) has a week’s inclusive car hire from £75. Or try Sixt (0870 156 7567, www.e-sixt.co.uk).

  Where to stay: visit www.specialplacestostay.com, or buy the Special Places to Stay guide to Spain (Alastair Sawday £14.99), for a good selection of properties. For mainstream hotels, try the Benidorm Reservations Center (00 34 965 857 060, www.beninter.es); for villas, try James Villas (0870 050 5058, www.jamesvillas.co.uk) or Iglu Villas (020 8544 6401, www.igluvillas.com).

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