There are some things you don't want to hear on holiday. "Sorry sir your flight's cancelled" or "the room's not ready", for instance.

Add to that: "Don't worry, it's more scared of you than you are of it."

Apparently, we were reliably informed by our Jack Sparrow lookalike of a captain, rats get on to boats by climbing along the ropes mooring the wide-bowed wooden crafts to the shore like some kind of Gladiator contestant on an assault course.

Jack, whose Turkish accent meant he rhymed everyone's favourite four letter word with, well, with "Jack" actually, explained this is because the rat, "he is facking clever animal."

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Thus a highly intelligent rodent found its way to my bed, in my cabin, in our Turkish gulet as we sailed round the Bay of Gokova in the Aegean.

I wonder if David Cameron got home to look up Weil's Disease on Wikipedia when he set sail in a convoy of seven gulets for 74 people at a reported cost of £71,000 for his "proper" summer holiday, having done Cornwall for the cameras.

But then I reckon he paid well over the odds merely to get little extras like a shower, air conditioning and, I would imagine, a flight with someone other than Turkish carrier Onur Air.

Apart from the latter of the three, I don't envy him. We had, it can be fair to say, basic accommodation on a charming but well worn authentic Turkish gulet the week before Cameron set sail in his flotilla.

Yet it cost us a fraction - less than £3,000 for five of us at the peak of the season and we still got to enjoy the secluded bays, daily swimming in the crystal clear waters and occasional forays on shore and overnight stays moored off uninhabited islands.

There was no air conditioning but then we all slept on deck anyway, particularly when we realised we were sharing our boat with the animal kingdom's winner of the Krypton Factor physical challenge.

Temperatures in the day were regularly over 100 degrees yet night time was very comfortable with the added bonus of watching the stars, but with three kids, three crew and four Italians just feet away, little chance to take romantic advantage of the conditions.

The washing facilities were a shower hose attached to a wash basin so at least we could wash the salt water out of our hair, even though we couldn't have a shower.

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