Which was a shame, because Foley is one of the best vineyards in the region. Alan Phillips, the head of wine-making, has the zeal of the convert. Like many in the Santa Ynez Valley, he is an exile from Napa Valley, disillusioned with its commercialisation.

“This area is what the Napa Valley was 30 years ago,” said Phillips. “It’s exciting to be here. Up in the Santa Rita Valley, we’ve created a new pinot-noir appellation. We’re making history. We’re the pioneers. Not many wine-makers get opportunities like this, to start from scratch on virgin hillsides.”

Or “scwatch wirgonal hill slopes”, as my increasingly illegible notes would have it.

Among sophisticated vintners, being plastered is not the thing. There were one or two tricky moments. I had a sudden impulse to tell the woman pouring the wine that I loved her. The ever-attentive guide managed to divert me from The Wild Rover when conversation touched on Ireland. The whole thing seemed upside down, back to front. I was the drunken boor clutching my glass; the Americans were the erudite sophisticates discussing the nuances of wine-making.

At some point, deep in pinot noir or awash with chardonnay — who knows — I was waylaid by another tasting sophisticate who was extolling the virtues of the older vineyards in Santa Maria Valley, just up the road.

“More delicate, I find, more restrained,” he said in a prissy voice. “Santa Rita wines are more forward, more immediate.” He turned his gaze to me, sprawled at the end of the tasting counter. His eyebrows were arched, his lips were pursed into a tiny smug smile. “Dare I say Burgundian?” I realised the sophistication of Santa Barbara was getting out of hand. I longed for something less pretentious, a taste of good old-fashioned America, a place where they wouldn’t know the meaning of “Burgundian”. The next day, I slipped away to Alisal Ranch, down a beautiful road lined with sycamore trees. Wooden fences snaked along the road. Old wagons stood knee-deep in feathery grass. Groups of ruminant steers had settled down in the shade of old oaks.

The Alisal is both a working ranch and a guest ranch, with stylishly decorated cabins. Dinner was the usual sophisticated Santa Barbarian fare, but otherwise I felt happy to be in cowboy country. I ordered a beer with my dinner.

The next morning, I went for a ride with one of the wranglers. We had 10,000 acres to roam around in. It was rangy, long-limbed country. Red-tailed hawks and turkey vultures circled above us in a blue sky. I spotted coyotes slinking away across wild yellow pastures. As we rode we chatted about cows and horses and a lot of other cowboy stuff. We got to talking about water, a big issue for ranchers in southern California.

“In these parts,” the wrangler drawled, “bourbon is for drinking. Water is for fighting over.”

Wine didn’t get a mention.

TRAVEL BRIEF

Getting there: American Airlines (0845 778 9789, www.aa.com) flies from Heathrow to Santa Barbara via LA or Dallas, from £390. Travelbag (0870 814 6545, www.travelbag.co.uk) has fares from Manchester and Glasgow for £368, via Chicago or London. In Ireland, Aer Lingus (0818 365000, www.aerlingus.com) flies from Dublin to LA, from €333.

Where to stay: downtown, the Hotel Santa Barbara (533 State Street; 00 1 805-957 9300, www.hotelsantabarbara.com) has doubles from £72. The Alisal Ranch (688 6411, www.alisal.com) has doubles from £280. Or try El Capitan Canyon (685 3887, www.elcapitancanyon.com), with cabins from £126.

Packages: Travelbag (0870 814 6545, www.travelbag.co.uk) has one night in Los Angeles and six nights at the Fess Parker Double Tree Resort in Santa Barbara from £1,069pp, including flights from Heathrow with American Airlines and car hire. Or try Jetsave (0870 060 1220, www.jetsavetailormade.co.uk), California Vacations (01582 469662, www.californiavacations.co.uk), or Thomas Cook Signature (0870 443 4453, www.tcsignature.com).

The vineyards: Cloud Climbers Jeep Tours (00 1 805 965 6654, www.ccjeeps.com) has wine-tour days from £65.

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