MISSION To improve my visage. At five months pregnant I should have entered the second trimester, where women are meant to be radiant, sporting luxurious hair and beatific smiles. The only thing glowing about me was the spot on the side of my face. I knew that pregnancy played havoc with your hormones, but one enormous bump seemed enough, I could do without the second one which kept peeping through my fringe.

USP This spa is based in the wine region of South Africa. Surrounded by mountains, vineyards and cute thatched cottages, it seems more like the Alpine town of your dreams, rather than darkest Africa. The spa doesn't wallow in the fact that it is in the wine region, there are no vinotherapies in its Camelot Spa, a chain of spas dotted around Africa. Instead the treatments are what you would get in most European spas, but what they did have, which no other spa has, was Ilze. I'm not suggesting you go all the way to South Africa for a therapist, but if you did, I'd say she was probably worth it.

AMBIENCE Housed in its own thatched cottage, made in the style of the houses of the first Dutch settlers - as all the rooms and facilities are - the spa is set apart from the main hotel building. A marble fountain full of rose petals greets you, and a relaxation room filled with Louis XVI chaise longues and reproductions of famous French paintings is where you relax before and after treatments. There are several treatment rooms, including a pitch black floatation room, and an individual steam room, but other than those, there are no actual water areas.

EXPERIENCE I had an Absolute Rehydrating Facial done by the lovely Ilze. It was 90 minutes of bliss, while I drifted in and out of consciousness. She even, selfless girl, offered to do some "extraction" specifically on the protuberance on my face, which she did effortlessly, and I'm happy to report that I am back down to one bump.

PRODUCTS The main product line is Thalgo, which "draws on the riches of the ocean to find the essential elements for authentic and effective cosmetology". It's widely available in England as well, and I've always found it good for my skin which is sensitive and prone to eczema.

FOOD There are apples and sweet muffins available in the relaxation room, along with chilled water and orange juice.

IN CROWD There was only one other person there, a middle aged woman from Scotland, who was making herself beautiful for her daughter's wedding, taking place in a few days time. In fact the whole hotel was full of English people over for a wedding. Wedding fever must have affected the hotel manager, as he made the bizarre decision to allow a helicopter to fly wedding guests out of the hotel at 6.30am. This would have been pretty noisy in itself, but the helicopter proceeded to "buzz" guest bedrooms for an hour, waking the entire hotel. I woke up thinking I was in a war zone.

WALLET WATCH Not bad at all. My 90-minute facial cost £37 - you wouldn't get your nails clipped for that in London, let alone your spots squeezed. A 60-minute aromatherapy massage costs £26. Rooms start at £50 per person and go up to £155 per person, including breakfast. To use the spa you don't have to be a hotel guest, and there is no day entrance fee, you just pay for treatments.

NEED TO KNOW Le Franschhoek Hotel and Spa, Farm Keerweder, Franschhoek, 7690, South Africa (00 27 21 876 8900; www.lefranschhoek.co.za) . Camelot spa www.camelotspas.com

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