USP Carton House is a vast Palladian mansion set in more than 1,000 acres of parkland, including two golf courses. The spa and treatment centre is housed in what used to be the farm adjoining the main house. All of this is only half an hour’s drive from Dublin and the airport.

AMBIENCE A little maze of rooms on two floors, decorated in a restful, pseudo-Oriental style. Sleek dark wood is complemented by cream accents and exotic floral displays. The relaxation room is a long, narrow space with loungers in soft brown leather (possibly leatherette, but let's not be picky) laid out in a row, with blankets and a central table with water and fruit, looking out on to a sweet little Zen-like garden enclosed by bamboo. The changing rooms are pleasant with flattering lighting and sizeable lockers in which you find huge (a bit too huge – man sized) slippers and a nifty little coffee-coloured waffle bathrobe for which to exchange your clothes. The seven treatment rooms are of a decent size, not pokey as at some spas which have been shoehorned in to a hotel development. There’s also a sauna, steam room, swimming pool with Jacuzzi and a juice bar.

QUALITY OF EXPERIENCE After I filled in a form about my skin type, my therapist, Aine, chose the oils for my unwind tension relief body massage for me. The spa uses Molton Brown products, which smell delicious and expensive. As she worked, she talked to me about the various knots she found and asked questions about how I sat, what exercise I did and so forth to get to the bottom of why they might have got there. When asked, she confirmed that she was fully qualified in sports massage, which was obvious. Some of the massage was quite painful, but so accurate and expert (and given with such a firm but kindly grace) that I didn’t mind at all. It was a welcome change from the namby-pamby, formulaic massages so often delivered by undertrained beauty therapists.

After the massage, I was left for a few minutes to rest under my towel, then taken to the relaxation room to peer contemplatively (or slightly self-consciously, since I was the only person in there and felt a bit weird zoning out on my own) out of the bank of windows that covers one wall. A delicious and generous wineglass of lemon sorbet was a nice and much appreciated touch – not only is it yummy, but it gives you something to do.

FOOD Lemon sorbet aside, the Carton House hotel has a bar with solid lunch choices such as chicken caesar salad, and a more formal restaurant, the Linden Tree, where the food is pleasant if teetering on the edge of flashy. Dinner at the Linden Tree is €45 (£28) for three courses and coffee, excluding wine.

IN CROWD Plenty of golfing types, including couples and groups of young women, as well as the usual herd of chaps. It’s a well-dressed, fun-loving, young to middle-aged crowd, often visiting in large groups with spouses in tow.

WALLET WATCH The unwind tension relief body massage costs €90 (£60) for one hour and is one of around ten massage treatments available. All facials are €80 and last one hour and there other treatments include polishes, skin detox treatments, manicures and pedicure.

NEED TO KNOW Carton House Spa, Carton House, Maynooth, Co.Kildare, Ireland; reservations@cartonhouse.com; (+353 (0) 1 5052000; www.cartonhouse.com)

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