week covers everything you ever wanted to know about bodily functions but were too afraid to ask - from bad breath to flatulence - as well as some you couldn't previously put a name to, such as hyperhidrosis (or uncontrollable sweating). The woman who ensures detox rocks is nutritionist and TV presenter Amanda Hamilton; what she doesn't know about food isn't worth, well, a fig. In fact, her regime is so effective, she claims that, in a week, guests can lose as much as 6.4kg (a stone) and look a full 10 years younger.

There are retreats in Turkey's Bodrum peninsula and the Scottish countryside, but the most popular is in Spain's Andalucían mountains (where the TV programme is shot). The centre has simple, shared accommodation, and a beautiful pool and sauna - but the emphasis never strays far from weight loss. Expect a diet of cutting-edge super-foods with nutritional supplements, as well as daily workshops, yoga and sessions with expert masseurs, reflexologists and life coaches, who will rid your mind of poisonous thoughts. It'll set you back £1,450pp for a week, excluding flights, but you could add a nought to that figure for the same treatment in London…

Life Detox (0845 500 7545, www.lifedetox.co.uk).

For townies too: Alam Shanti, Bali

Just being in Bali is a form of therapy: the people are warm and friendly, the pace of life slow, and everywhere you look are gorgeous floral tributes to the Hindu gods. Ubud is its cultural capital, filled with art galleries and boho cafes, but stay outside town at the family-run boutique retreat of Alam Shanti and you get the bustle and the peace. It's set in lush gardens, overlooking paddy fields where farmers in bamboo hats tend rice.

There are only eight villas - each huge and airy, with muslin-draped four-posters - and guests spend much of their time by the infinity pool. And as massage isn't a business in Bali (it's a way of life), the spa is an utter joy. You'll submit to the best rubs and scrubs you'll ever experience, delivered by women who move as though on castors, all incredibly dainty save for their fingers - which are packed with so much power they bulge like Popeye's.

Aim to divide your time between blissed-out body wraps and flower-filled baths, massages and natural facials using cucumber and honey, from as little as £10. Or go for the four-hour couple's package, superb value at £26pp (including a foot bath, traditional massage, body scrub, milk bath, Balinese facial, and cream bath).

Alam Shanti (00 62 361 974629, www.alamindahbali.com; villas from £30, B&B).

For cut-price princesses: Kempinski Hotel, Bulgaria

A five-star spa that charges three-star prices? Don't Roger Moore your eyebrow, there's a perfectly good explanation: this pampering palace is the Kempinski Hotel Grand Arena in Bansko… in Bulgaria. And that's the point. Bansko is hardly on the trendy traveller's radar, so even though the place is run by the luxury hotel chain behind big-hitters such as the seven-star Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi, the company can't charge its usual rates.

Ayurvedic therapists have been drafted in from Kerala to provide authentic Indian treatments, and the spa features detoxifying Thalgo (or seawater) and aromatherapy-based massages and facials, all from £25 - at the Emirates Palace, the same facial costs a staggering £85. There's a fitness centre, saunas, steam bath, hammam, indoor and outdoor pools with views over snow-capped mountains - and rooms that cost as little as £86, B&B.

Princesses with pretensions will like the decor: stylish rather than full-on bling (sage-and-beige colour schemes, Laura Ashley-look patterns), but bear in mind that Bansko is 'up-and-coming', so it's not the prettiest of towns. Then again, you'll have your eyes closed most of the time, so that shouldn't be a problem. Deal-seekers should check out the hotel's packages online: doubles from £100, B&B, including a bottle of bubbly, dinner and a massage each. That takes the ache out of a break.

Kempinski Hotel Grand Arena (00 800 4263 1355, www.kempinski-bansko.com).

For a hen party haven: Middle Piccadilly, UK Chocolate, bubble baths, ice cream - and still the bride-to-be is so stressed she's ready to slap her future mother-in-law. What she really needs is a stint at Peaceful Lane in Sherborne, Dorset. That's the very appropriate address of Middle Piccadilly, a haven that offers holistic hen parties at realistic prices.

You can overnight in Amerindian teepees with views of rolling countryside for an unbeatable £114pp a night; upgrade to a 'proper' room and it's still an affordable £145pp full board, including a champagne banquet and a body wrap each. The decor is reassuringly homey: there are no TVs, no DVDs, no internet and only limited mobile phone reception, ensuring you're forced into the slow lane. Better still, because this spa is so small (sleeping just 16 people), a group booking of 10 guarantees exclusive use for your party, adding to its intimate atmosphere.

The Harvey family has run the place for more than 20 years and is fully signed up to the wellness concept, so there are no gimmicks, just effective, natural therapies. New this year is a stress-busting Thai massage that uses herbal compresses and Cryssage facials - during these, gemstones are worked across the face to produce a sparkling complexion. Wander down to the Star House for impromptu yoga sessions or to help feed the chickens - or go over that hideous seating plan one last time with your nice, new-won inner calm.

Middle Piccadilly (01963 23468, www.middlepiccadilly.com).

This article is from the September edition of the Sunday Times Travel Magazine

For more than 200 reviews of spas worldwide visit Times Online's Good Spa Guide

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