USP Two heated saltwater pools (good for the skin apparently), one for swimming and the other with water jets of differing styles and ferocity. Floor-to-ceiling glass windows look out on to a picturesque tidal bay and acres of sky. You can watch curlews busily foraging on the foreshore as you swim or just let the different jets unknot you while contemplating the ever-changing view outside - relaxing and uniquely cosseting if there is a storm raging outside.

QUALITY OF EXPERIENCE The hotel offers an excellent evening package for those who simply want to relax and unwind without resorting to pummelling or expensive unguents. For €36 you have two hours access to the saltwater pools, sauna and steam room, followed by a Champagne aperitif in the adjoining hotel’s lounge and, finally, an all-inclusive three-course meal in the panoramic restaurant on the top floor. A half day Introduction to Thalassotherapy course starts at €85 per person. The four treatments offered for this include a hot algae wrap (very relaxing) and a private Jacuzzi with seaweed extracts. Access to the steam room and pools is also included in this package.

AMBIENCE For reasons that eluded me, Brit-style swimming shorts are not allowed and you are also required to wear swimming caps (available in the shop for €3 each), a rare Gallic nod to "health & safety". The key to enjoying yourself in establishments like this is to not take it, or yourself, too seriously. Very few people look good in Speedos and a little blue and white swimming cap, so why worry about it? Nobody else bats an eyelid after all.

IN CROWD A smattering of "curistes" (elderly folk referred by their doctor for some free spa treatments) add a surreal element. De rigueur for lady "curistes" seemed to be a capacious bath hat, big dangly gold earrings and the ability to swim at the pace of a jellyfish. Younger locals and fellow tourists brought the average age (just) below 50. If anything, this only adds to the relaxing nature of the place. It’s quiet and friendly, with none of the self importance or body image angst seemingly so prevalent in attendees of some establishments in the UK.

FOOD Having reached relaxation nirvana, we showered and dressed and made our way to the leather sofas in the hotel lounge. A big glass of bubbly and some nibbles were brought to the table as we aimlessly flicked through the selection of magazines on the low table or gazed out at the view (same as before, but just a bit higher). The Champagne aperitif gave just enough energy to take the lift up to the top floor where the multilingual staff guided us to a table overlooking the bay (same view as before, but now six floors up). The price includes an excellent three-course meal, 1/3 litre of reasonable wine, a bottle of still or sparkling mineral water (there is even a separate menu for water) and coffee.

WALLET WATCH At just over £20, this is superb value. The quality of food was so high that we went back a few days later just for lunch. However, you will need to get to Roscoff in the first place (Brittany Ferries sail direct from Plymouth). There is a full range of "treatments" available at extra cost and accommodation inclusive packages are available (details on the website). There’s also the cost of a pair of Speedos and one of those fetching little swimming caps to bear in mind…
Take a pair of swimming goggles. Saline water makes your eyes very red (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it).

NEED TO KNOW Hotel Thallastonic, Roscoff, Brittany (www.thalasso.com/roscoff; 0033 298 29 20 00). Brittany Ferries (www.brittanyferries.co.uk; 08709 076 103)

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