USP Desperately Seeking Detox, aka the five star weekend retreat is a foray into the world of physical and mental respite in that scented-candle middle ground between asceticism and indulgence. Participants check in wallowing in toxicity to emerge with auras as cleansed as their appetites: psyches, bodies and wallets significantly lighter

AMBIENCE Ritzy, no holes-barred extravagance. My base is a baroquely glamorous suite, stuffed with oils, scrubs and unguents. The mini-bar lies empty; in its place, ten varieties of water, fruit, nuts and a DIY tisane kit (kettle, mint, ginger and lemongrass).

EXPERIENCE Consummate service, superb quality of treatments. A schedule is devised: yoga at 8.30am, followed by breakfast and a beautifying treatment; lunch; a workout with Stephen Price, the head of Berkeley's personal training squad and fitness guru to Alexander McQueen and a bevy of beautiful people; acupressure/acupuncture massage; supper; Buddhist meditation; and a spot of life coaching to open and close. My muscles were activated and then kneaded and soothed. By Sunday I felt and looked fantastic, my only detox symptom a spot adorning my backside. Back home, I became tired and emotional, my predominant emotion being a desire to take up residence at the Berkeley.

IN CROWD Posh hippies and sophisticates of all ages. The Berkeley is where the world's beautiful people become that bit more beautiful.

FOOD The Berkeley's three chefs are at your disposal: detoxifying fare from the executive chef David Dandridge; a "beauty box" looks-enhancing menu from Stuart Gillies in The Boxwood; or champers and foie gras from Marcus Wareing at Petrus restaurant.

WALLET WATCH Weekend retreat from £2,250. Individual spa treatments start from

NEED TO KNOW The Berkeley, Wilton Place, Knightsbridge, London SW1 (020-7235 6000; www.the-berkeley.co.uk)

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