We began in St John’s Wood, where houses are mansions and cars are tanks, and paddled into the sun, which illuminated the overhanging branches and blackberry bushes. If you squinted a little, it was all very Swallows and Amazons, give or take the enormous metropolis we were splashing around in.

At that ridiculous time of the morning, we had the place to ourselves - with the exception of the odd jogger, a couple of cyclists and some amiable drunks sitting on a bench (they don’t half start early, those boys).

Danny, from New Zealand, and Niamh, from Ireland, are excellent company, but are equally adept at shutting up and allowing it all to sink in. Which it was doing rather nicely until those seagulls showed up.

Then it was on past London Zoo. To the joggers, cyclists and boozers add a pack of African hunting dogs that were in a run to our right and prowled up and down, tracking our movements.

London tours - by water

One's a very green space, one not quite so - we see the sunrise by kayak and try a high-speed boat trip

BACKGROUND

• A weekend on Arran, a mini Scotland

• Escape from Alcatraz

• Posh paddling in New Zealand

Related Internet Links

• Research more articles about watersports holidays

A bargain guide to London

Your holiday splurge in London needn’t cost the earth. Our tips on how to get the most out of the capital for less

BACKGROUND

• 10 things I love about London

• Blake's London

• London's modern art

• London's coolest hotel bars

Related Internet Links

• London walks special

Related Links

• London tours - by water

• Up the Hudson with a paddle

Next was the giraffe enclosure, but there was no sign of them. Probably getting their heads down, which for them is no mean feat. The Snowdon Aviary, on the left, was livelier, with ibises and egrets hopping about on the highest branches.

It was about this time that a mallard with her ducklings swam alongside, rolled her eyes and scooted off (probably trained by Danny to add to the “aaahh” factor), but I wasn’t troubled.

My competitive edge - embarrassingly keen on a normal commute, to the extent that I find walking behind anyone going at speeds slower than Usain Bolt excruciating - had left me entirely.

If you’re concerned about a lack of experience on the water, don’t be. The art of kayaking - at this level, at least - is a doddle and soon becomes instinctive.

Granted, I managed to drip surprisingly warm water into my lap with every other stroke, but that was just my own personal style coming through - you might equally choose to keep yourself dry.

If you exclude discovering fresh ways to snarl at fellow commuters, I don’t remember the last time I learnt a new skill before breakfast.

I arrived at my desk for another day’s glorious toil feeling unusually calm. An hour on the canal costs £50 - and as far as instant therapy goes, I’m converted. Try getting a massage or someone to lie you on a couch and tell you everything’s going to be all right for that price. And you know what? That calm feeling lasted almost until lunch.

Prices start at £50 for an hour; for more details, call 020 8361 3009 or visit www.thamesriveradventures.co.uk

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