Brian Schofield
2 for 1 at Pizza Express

There they go, slouching through the gates, strategically scuffing their smart new blazers, hitching up their skirts and chucking their apples and muesli bars straight into the bin. Viewed from the teachers’ common room, the prospect of learning all their names, confiscating their iPhones and managing their sugar-high tantrums must be a source of screaming midnight sweats. For the rest of us, party time has just started. September is here, the school holidays are over, the weekend is yours again.
For seven long weeks, every train carriage has been a maelstrom of feuding families, every piazza in Europe a high-pitched ocean of junior sightseers. Museum staff the world over have been trampled flat by the button-pushing early learners. For those of us on either side of the school-years experience, July and August are best spent hunkered down, waiting for the storm to pass.
And finally, come September, it does just that – so book your weekends away now, when summer has yet to depart but peace has started to descend. Whether you want culture, food, adventure or romance, the best month of the year is about to begin...
HEARTY WEEKENDS
Surf’s up in the West Country: nowhere benefits more from the end
of the school hols than north Cornwall, when the beaches are rescued from
sandcastle chaos and, by happy coincidence, the most reliable waves of the
year arrive. Elements is a new “surf hotel” just outside Bude that’s
tailor-made for such a moment – in a lovely clifftop spot, the rooms are
trendy but not swanky, there’s a lively bar and restaurant for after-waves
relaxing, and you can book surf lessons and board rental from reception.
Cornwall’s chintzy guesthouses should grab their doilies in fear. Details:
Elements (01288 352386, www.elements-life.co.uk
) is £45 a night, B&B; surf lessons £45 a day.
Tear up the Dales: most mountainbiking weekends are comparable to golf breaks, just with added Lycra – a bunch of blokes escape from their wives, spend too long in the pub and quietly trim their outdoor activity from an arduous expedition to a gentle potter. If you actually want to become a better biker, and learn how to get more fun and adventure from that expensive bundle of aluminium-and-rubber in your shed, Dales Mountain Biking, in the stunning valley of Swaledale, will train you in all the skills of great riding, and provide expert guides to the toughest tracks in the Yorkshire Dales National Park. Details:Dales Mountain Biking (01748 884356, www.dalesmountainbiking.co.uk ) has two days’ training on a riding course and B&B accommodation for £189, or they can arrange bespoke weekends to fit your demands.
Stroll the Cotswolds:if you prefer your fresh air in deep breaths, not heaving gasps, a gentle walking weekend in the Cotswolds sounds about right. The lovely village of Bibury, near Cirencester, is the base for this simple self-guided break – you get two nights, half-board, in the Bibury Court Hotel, a Jacobean manor house with sprawling gardens and an excellent dining reputation, plus local hiking expert Cotswold Walking Holidays has mapped out the best walking routes from the hotel’s front door. So you just pick your path and fill your day, before heading back indoors to fill your boots. Details: Cotswold Walking (01242 518888, www.cotswoldwalks.com ) has two nights, half-board, for £195pp, based on two sharing.
TRENDY WEEKENDS
Hamburg: the city where the Beatles became men seems to be transforming
itself, street by street, into Germany’s most creative and alternative city.
It’s still, of course, a power-house of a place, dominating the country’s
shipping, media and grubby sex industries, but there’s now a buzzing
undergrowth of cafes, clothes stores, music and art that puts the
flavourless corporate regeneration of Britain’s port cities to shame. You’ll
pick up the mood best if you crash at Hotel Annenhof in the St Georg
district, where Portuguese cafes and Lebanese grills share the streets with
lively bars and late-night lounges. Details: Hotel Annenhof (00 49 40
243426, www.hotelannenhof.de ) is
right in the heart of St Georg, surrounded by cafes. It’s a stylish, simple
place, but rooms are not ensuite. Doubles from £56, and you can buy brekkie
from the neighbouring eateries. Airlines flying to Hamburg include EasyJet (www.easyjet.com
), Air Berlin (www.airberlin.com )
and BA (0844 493 0787, www.ba.com ).
Stockholm: at the height of the coach-party season, Stockholm loses its chic and becomes a bit of a bustling bore – but the first glimpse of autumn restores the swagger to a city that manages, somehow, to be both sleekly reserved and a little bit wacky. The SoFo district on Sodermalm island typifies this bewitching mix, with design stores selling kitchen utensils that belong in art galleries next door to boisterous cocktail bars and, erm, courageous concept restaurants (Nordic sushi, anyone?). Details:for trendy weekenders, Nordic Light Hotel is Swedish-stylish almost to the point of parody (00 46 8 5056 3000, www.nordiclighthotel.se ; doubles from £100) and is right next door to the airport rail link. Fly to Stockholm with Scandinavian Airlines (0871 521 2772, www.flysas.com ), Sterling (0870 787 8038, www.sterling.dk ), British Airways (0844 493 0787, www.ba.com ) or Ryanair (www.ryanair.com ).
Florence: Milan’s a write-off for most of September, as the carnival of insincerity that is Fashion Week sprawls across the month, trebling hotel rates. Florence, however, got its rag-trade shindig out of the way in June, and is probably the better city in which to indulge your lust for shopping all year round. Not only will you find all the garments you desire in the top-end boutiques of Via Tornabuoni, but there’s a wider range of swanky craftsmanship for you to enjoy, too – Florentines make the world’s best paper, their goldsmiths take some beating and you won’t believe the hand-stitched handbags. Tour the Oltrarno district for a taste. And then there’s the city’s guilty secret – outlet shopping. You can even book guided tours of these suburban palaces of discount fashion – and when you get it home, nobody needs to know you paid a tenner for that Gucci skirt...
Details: book a four-hour outlet tour, £40pp, at www.enjoyflorence.com . The hippest hotel is the Gallery Hotel Art, doubles from £205 (00 39-055 272 64000, www.lungarnohotels.com ). Hotel Alessandra is right in the centre, with £173anight suites for fashionistas or £88 doubles for bargain-hunters (055 283 438, www.hotelalessandra.com ; check out their online recipe book!). Fly to Florence with Meridiana (0870 224 3711 www.meridiana.it ) or to Pisa (an hour away) with Ryanair (0871 246 0000, www.ryanair.com ), BA (0844 493 0787, www.ba.com ) or EasyJet (www.easyjet.com ) .
ARTSY WEEKENDS
Everland in Paris: has there ever been a stranger work of art than
Everland? It’s a travelling hotel room that tours Europe, plonks down in
beautiful places and people visit it, even staying the night, to get a
vision of a world where mobility and permanence magically collide. And, in
properly pretentious modern style, once you’re inside the room, you’re part
of the art.
It’s currently sitting on the roof of the Palais de Tokyo gallery in Paris, facing the Eiffel Tower, and you can pop in during the day to investigate – while also touring the most consistently innovative modern-art gallery in the city. Sleeping over is more complicated – you have to visit the website daily and grab the nights as they become available, about two months ahead – but even a visit would make a fascinating centrepiece of an arty weekend in Paris. Details: for nights (from £265 a night), you have to monitor www.everland.ch like a hawk. Otherwise, Palais de Tokyo is £4.75 entrance (www.palaisdetokyo.com ), then you can visit Everland on the roof. It’s in place until the end of the year. Eurostar (0870 518 6186, www.eurostar.com ) has weekend returns from £59.
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