I do not play golf. Neither does my 15-year-old daughter, Miranda. But here we are at the Sheraton Salobre Golf Resort and Spa in Gran Canaria and I can see Miranda sipping champagne on the golf course while a Norwegian shipping magnate shows her some golf basics.

None of this was planned. All we wanted was a little r&r and some guaranteed sun within easy reach of the UK after a gruelling few months for both of us. A 25 minute drive from Las Palmas and this twinkling-new hotel is set a mile or so inland from the pizza-and-beer beaches. The architects have carved the hotel high up one side of a rocky outcrop overlooking the sea in one direction and a verdant, 27-hole golf course in the other.

Bars and swimming pools are dotted through this place in such a way that you never feel overlooked or particularly aware of other guests. The Sunset Pool, at the pinnacle of the rocky outcrop, is a semi circle of infinity gazing out to sea with a bar along one side and, on the rocks just below the pool, a series of four-poster beds where you can read, or soak up the sun, or draw the curtains for a little outdoor privacy.

We met the golfing Norwegians in the buffet restaurant where I was majoring on the seafood (although all the food was outstanding and copious). Miranda was trying to persuade me to let her drive around the golf course in one of the buggies despite the fact that she isn’t interested in golf. The Norwegians stepped in and offered to take her with them for a morning.

I hadn’t realised the generosity of this offer until the evening when they introduced me to the fourth member of their party – the golf pro they take with them on every holiday. These were serious golfers who must have deserved the champagne offered at a certain point on the course. They tell me the course is excellent.

The spa was OK rather than excellent, but it offered plenty treatments and gave Miranda her first spa experience.

After a couple of days spent exploring the seven pools and gym at the hotel and taking the shuttle down to the hotel’s beach-side satellite we decided to hire a car and explore the island. The magnificent, mountainous landscape with rock formations straight out of a Western were set off by lush valleys where euphorbia, cacti, lavender and palms painted the reddish rocks green.

Camel riding out here (a 40 minute trip which can be arranged by the hotel) made a great way to see this terrain close up.

Another (rather different) highlight was Palmitos Park which should have been about five miles from the hotel but took us an hour or so to find. The parrot show at the end of the tour is something you have to see before you die. One parrot roller skates, another flies a plane, one puts a jigsaw together and others come up with yet more tricks.

To avoid appearing too philistine, we also went the galleries, and to Columbus’ house, in Las Palmas. Why isn’t the old quarter of Las Palmas better known? It’s great. The cafes are cheap (try the coffee called something like ‘leche con leche’) and full of local people; the cathedral is beautiful, and the modern art gallery is good and free (and, while we were there, showing dvds by Kraftwerk, Yoko Ono and Warhol).The attached shop has some first-class presents like a lighter shaped like a metal donkey.

And while we’re on the commercial side of the holiday I bought a full-length 'ver de gris' kimono for 4.50 euros down at Playa des Ingles where vibrators are sold alongside various religious icons. And if that area of twinkling shops and excellent value restaurants leaves you gasping for air, head off to the sand dunes at Maspalermos. They are not extensive enough to be dangerous but they are beautiful and other-worldly.

The Norwegian shipping magnate was rather beautiful, too, and young enough to be company for Miranda, given there didn’t seem to be other teenagers about. That will change. At the moment the hotel is offering an extensive children’s programme but they are about to start a teen area with a room full of computer games plus a pool table, amongst other attractions.

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