When your family holidays are spent at Camber Sands, where larging it is a hot dog at the Kitkat café on the beach, the prospect of an exclusive luxury resort is a little daunting. Would our lively children act and look the part at five-star Abama in the Canary Islands?

My daughter Suzanna’s favourite look – knock-off Arsenal kit from our local street market – I told her, was not coming. My son, Alex, 12, chose a new outfit, which he dubbed his “golf look”. He then fretted that Dad didn’t have a “golf look”. “That’s because he doesn’t play golf,” I pointed out.

Manners were polished relentlessly in the weeks before D-day. “You won’t be able to do that,” I chided every time a mouth was wiped on a sleeve, or a finger stuck up a nose. It was when Suzanna, 6, asked anxiously, “Mum, can you fart at Abama?” that I realised I’d gone too far.

Fast-forward to the pool, soon after arrival. My favourite leisure activity is eavesdropping and the first conversation I tuned in to was between Essex boys, discussing how on-line betting has ruined the bookies’ trade at the racecourse. The first paper I spotted was the Daily Express.

“What’s going on?” I asked my husband, Andrew, who works in the travel industry. “I thought this was supposed to be really posh.”

“Ah,” he explained, “you have confused luxury with exclusivity.” We were, after all, in Tenerife, known for beer bellies and the wrong sort of tattoos, not some elitist hide-away. True, Abama, a new resort, aims to offer luxury on a scale hitherto unheard of in these parts. But when it is complete in 2012, it will accommodate 2,000 guests. They come in all shapes and sizes, from honeymooning couples and mad-keen golfers to newborn babies and large family parties.

They certainly have the luxury bit taped. My son got the idea immediately. “Just call me Bubbles, dahling,” he declared, flouncing around our suite in a fluffy bathrobe like the Little Britain spa-queen character. It came with chocolate suede mules in a matching bag. There were enough toiletries to fill a small branch of Boots, except they were Hermès. Heck, there is even a pillow menu.

Our suite was 120sq m with two bedrooms, both en suite, a living room, study area and three large flatscreen TVs – boy heaven. It had a private terrace overlooking the “Persian Garden”, all aromatic plants and tinkling fountains. Scheherazade would have felt quite at home. She wouldn’t have had to worry about the housework, though – there is maid service twice a day.

They do nothing by halves at Abama. It is 3.5km from the top of the golf course, where Bill Clinton was one of the first to play, to the private beach, where white sand imported from the Sahara disguises the indigenous black type. The resort took ten years to build and is based on the concept of an Arab citadel. You can hear water wherever you are, and a pleasant Atlantic breeze rustles around the labyrinth of corridors and stairwells.

At night, Moorish wall lanterns glow like hundreds of Hallowe’en pumpkins on the terracotta walls. Five million gallons of water a day are pumped out of Abama’s own desalination plant. God knows what the laundry bill must be – there isn’t a paper towel in sight.

There are seven tennis courts and four paddle tennis courts, part of an academy run by the top Spanish player Emilio Sánchez Vicario. A staff of 470 cater for your every whim and if there’s a full house – 900 guests – there are up to 600.

Some of your pushier visitors can be demanding – we heard of requirements including how the beds are made, what colour flowers in the room are, and complaints about the consistency of the butter at breakfast. It wasn’t Victoria Beckham – she booked, but then cancelled.

The children’s club, included in the price, offered a range of activities and gave us some rare free time to lounge by one of the infinity pools. Here we sipped coffee and gazed out across luscious subtropical flowers and palm trees to the island of Gomera.

Or you could book into the spa, where the “Spa Experience” at about £17 (25 euros) is good value. It’s a series of different water-based treatments, including tropical mist showers infused with mint, a hammam and – the only thing that was remotely like Camber Sands – the Kneipe Walk, where you walk up and down a shallow pool of 10C water, a pebble-like surface underfoot. Good for the circulation, apparently.

Less indolent adults can enjoy free daily activities ranging from billiards and bridge to salsa. Alex and I learnt to make “mojo” at a cookery class – traditional Canarian salsa made with peppers, avocado and spices. He wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole at home – but make it yourself in the presence of a real chef . . . If all this doesn’t tire you out, there are several bars and a somewhat lugubrious Moroccan night-club – the only moment that felt a little more holiday camp than height of luxury. Baby-sitting is available as an extra.

An extensive room service menu means you need never leave yours – but that would be a shame. Abama has ten restaurants, from El Patio, run by three-Michelin-starred chef Martin Berasategui, to pool-side cafés. Everything, everywhere is served with impeccable professionalism and genuine friendliness – although occasionally with rather a long wait. Not ideal when children who have been leaping in and out of pools and playing mini-tennis all day need prompt feeding and watering, So our most enjoyable meals were the buffets. At breakfast you could stuff yourself with about ten kinds of everything conceivable, from full English to Scandinavian-style cold cuts. At peak holiday times there is a similarly cornucopian offering in the evenings that included oysters and fillet steaks and hot dogs for the children.

Apart from breakfast, all food and drink is extra. Did it break the bank? Our cheapest meal, four generously garnished sandwiches and four bottles of water, cost about £30. Charging almost £4 for a litre of water seems a bit steep in a resort that purports to be dedicated to the wellbeing of guests. But, with a glass of Moët only about £3.50, who cares?

A nice glass of chilled champagne makes for nicely chilled parents. But so do staff who treat youngsters with the same courtesy and humour as they do adults, because the children tend to rise to the occasion.

I don’t remember being embarrassed once.

Need to know

Hilly Janes and family travelled with Carrier (0161-491 7650, www.carrier.co.uk). A week at Abama for a family of four (two adults and two children under 12) sharing a Premier Suite costs from £5,425 from July 20 to August 27 (£4,610 before July 15). The cost includes GB Airways flights, private transfers and breakfast.

Sun and sand: three other family favourites

Arabella Sheraton Golf Hotel Son Vida, Majorca

Just outside Palma, this hotel, designed in the style of a Spanish mansion, is next to the Son Vida golf course. Golf-loving families will enjoy the hotel’s two courses, driving range, practice holes and a putting green. The children’s club has a supervised play area and pool, and a spa offers adult pampering. Details: ITC Classics (01244 355527, www.itcclassics.co.uk) offers seven nights’ B&B from £5,515, including BA flights from Gatwick and transfers.

Forte Village, Sardinia

Resorts in southern Sardinia don’t come much swankier. Set in 55 acres of subtropical gardens and pine forest, Forte Village has good sports and children’s facilities and a spa. Details: Citalia (0870 9097554, www.citalia.com) offers a week’s half board from £4,448, including flights from Heathrow and transfers.

Anassa, Cyprus

Set in the secluded northwest of the island near the town of Polis, the Anassa is ideal for yummy mummies (and daddies) who want to bronze by the pool or chill in the Thalassa spa while their children make use of the activities on offer. These range from tennis to waterskiing or frolicking in the Smiling Dolphins’ club, for 4-11 year olds. Details: Powder Byrne (020-8246 5300, www.powderbyrne.com) offers seven nights’ half board with flights from Manchester or Heathrow to Larnaca and transfers from £7,302 in a studio.

All prices are for two adults, and two children under 12 during the school summer holidays. Will Hide

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